Bomb the French in my name

[hfc1]

How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

Nobody knows, they've never done it.

 

The French have just ordered a new national flag.

It's a white cross on a white background.

 

Why did the French plant trees on the Champs Elysées?

So the Germans could march in the shade.

 

Where do you find 60 Million French jokes?

In France.

 

What's the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup squad?

A Wonderbra has decent support - and a cup.

 

What is the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast.

 

Define confusion: Father's Day in Paris.

 

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Philippe Flop

 

What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?

To say "I surrender" in German, Vietnamese, and Maghrebi Arabic.

 

Why was Jesus not born in France?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

 

Jacques Chirac walked into a bar with a parrot on his head and the

landlord said: "How did that happen?"

The parrot said: "It all started as a little pimple on my butt."

 

Why don't the French like the fireworks at Disneyland Paris?

Because every time they go off, people start trying to surrender.

 

 

Why do the French eat snails?

It gives them speedy reactions.

 

What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?

The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.

 

In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his

commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle - in the line

of fire - to retrieve a despatch case from a dead soldier and dashed

back to his HQ. The officer said: "I'm recommending you for a medal for

risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses."

"Warehouses?" said the soldier.

"Sacré bleu!I thought you said whorehouses."

 

What's one of the shortest books in the world?

A complete history of French War Heroes.

 

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