I know its not football but...

[Mr Happy]

...this is very funny. Its a genuine e-mail job application I have just received!!! Read on:

 

Dear Sir,

 

Being a live wire and dogmatically conscious about my faculties, I desperately feel to be a unit of such a splendid crew which may unite me with sky creeping excellence and that I find in you with all trust and confidence.

Sir, I am very much flexible being who can adjust easily in all possible circumstances and meet all the requirements. If your name is excellence then I am the urge to approach it. Let your august choice fall on me and let I be the member of your prestigious gaggle. I assure you that I will leave no stone upturn to accomplish my task. Hope an encouraging response from your side.

 

Thanking you in anticipation.

 

Guess what my response to his anticipation was???!!!

[waggamick]

This be disappointed to myself!

You be telling me all job application by mine self to be confidential!

[The Invisible Man]

I think you're being far too hasty, Happy. This individual is clearly well suited for a career as an accountant, a traffic engineer or in local government.

 

The bit that really throws me is 'sky creeping excellence'. Assuming that this has been babelfished or something, what on earth was s/he trying to say there???