Wilf will Love This one !

[Big J R]

1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

 

2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

 

3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.

 

4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway-department made so many of the bloody things !

 

5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good 'Moony'.

 

6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the next door neighbours dog run to the end of his chain and throttle himself.

 

7. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbours newspaper, that's the time to do it.

 

8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.

 

9. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the sweetie group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group and the "What-ever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group

 

10. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.

 

11. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbours car!

 

12. When you find yourself getting irritated by someone, try to remember, that all men are brothers and just give them a smack in the face or an Indian burn.

[Wilf]

You're right J.R., I DID! (and so did everyone else I sent it to).