Visit to Doctor

[AncientBlue]

I recently turned 53 and had to choose a new primary care doctor for my Medicare health insurance program.

 

 

 

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

 

 

 

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I will live to be 100?'

 

 

 

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'

 

 

 

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'

 

 

 

'Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?'

 

 

 

'I said, 'No, I usually stay home and keep to myself'.

 

 

 

'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'

 

 

 

I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'

 

 

 

'Do y ou spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

 

 

 

'No, I don't,' I said.

 

 

 

'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

 

 

 

'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'

 

 

 

He looked at me and said, 'Then why do you give a s h i t?

 

 

[Pagey]

Now that WAS a poor Joke

 

Being a master of poor jokes myself heres my effort

 

I had to decide which out of 3 women to marry, so I gave them each £1000 to do with what they wanted

 

The first had a make over, she looked lovely, she said that it was to make sure that she looked beautiful for me

 

The second treated me to a slap up meal at the Ivy, she said that she loved me so much that she wanted to treat me

 

The third invested her money wisely and within a month had turned the money into £10K, she said she wanted to make sure that she put as much into the relationship financial as me, so that I didn't have to work so hard

 

 

Which one did I chose

 

The one with the biggest Tits of course

[Greg_Dyke]

Originally Posted By: The Pagester

Now that WAS a poor Joke

Being a master of poor jokes myself heres my effort

I had to decide which out of 3 women to marry, so I gave them each £1000 to do with what they wanted

The first had a make over, she looked lovely, she said that it was to make sure that she looked beautiful for me

The second treated me to a slap up meal at the Ivy, she said that she loved me so much that she wanted to treat me

The third invested her money wisely and within a month had turned the money into £10K, she said she wanted to make sure that she put as much into the relationship financial as me, so that I didn't have to work so hard


Which one did I chose

The one with the biggest Tits of course

which one was that ?

[Tony_T]

LMAO!!

[BlueGate Alan]

An even worse one, though it did make me smile

 

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through

the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

 

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have

to go up there, find the owner, apologize, and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

 

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in."

 

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done:

glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

 

A large black man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the

people that broke my window?"

Uh..yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.

You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a

thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes.

I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

 

Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and

blurted out, I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

 

No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do.

And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young

lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every

country in the world," she said.

Consider it done, "the genie said. "And your homes will always

be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

 

And now," the couple asked in unison, "What's your wish, genie?"

Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been

with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

 

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know e

we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're

right.

Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what

about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the

same for you!"

 

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the

rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over

and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you

and your husband Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

>>

>>

>>

No Kidding." he said, "Thirty-five years old .............and

both of you still believe in genies!!!"

 

[Tony_T]

Brilliant! LOL....