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O/T Wanna laugh?


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WARNING!!!!!! NEW VIRUS ALERT

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally,and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.

Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends.

If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

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We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where

: ) means a smile smile and

: ( is a frown. frown

How about some " ASSICONS?"

 

(_!_) a regular ass

 

(__!__) a fat ass

 

(!) a tight ass

 

(_*_) a sore ass

 

{_!_} a swishy ass

 

(_o_) an ass that's been around

 

(_x_) kiss my ass

 

(_X_) leave my ass alone

 

(_zzz_) a tired ass

 

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

 

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

 

(_?_) Dumb Ass

 

 

Good day & signing off (_zzz_)

 

 

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Just wondering ...

 

Can you cry under water?

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered

assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and! then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

 

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,what is baby oil made from?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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