Results 17th March

[Maldini66]

Works for mugs

 

Now the navy bar,Premier & Pinks hmmmmmmmmmm

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted By: HTFCew

Colney Heath 2 5 Hertford Town

HTFCew or Horace - I don't know whether you have parted with £1.40 today but the following report is featured in the NLP in the 'Diary of a Groundhopper' section from your game at Colney Heath on 17 March:
I arrive at Colney Heath of the SSML Premier Division in plenty of time to have a wander round the Recreation Ground (home of Arsenal Ladies Reserves). There are some tree lined fishing pits behind one goal so I spend some time ambling along the paths while taking in the spring sunshine. In the Clubhouse I enquire at the kitchen if there is any tea available, 'not yet' is the grumpy reply from the Club official as he emerges with three steaming hot mugs of brew in his hands. 'These are for the officials' he says sheepishly. I partake of a couple of nice crusty rolls from the bar instead, excellent value at £1.00 each. This sets the tone for the afternoon. I meet a mixture of very friendly people and quite surly folk, I notice a sign on the wall 'parents - what are your children doing, they are your responsibility - look after them'. What, parents taking care of their children, what a novel idea. The teams trot onto the pitch and I immediately clock the Referee, he is strutting around like Foghorn Leghorn and looks the sort who wants to be the centre of attention. His demeanour reminds me of the be-mulleted official who took charge of the 1991 FA Cup Final whom I saw swaggering outside Wembley a couple of hours before he spoiled the match by not sending off a brainless thug called Paul Gascoigne. Unfortunately I am not proved wrong when the game proceeds. I notice that Colney have a Sparrowhawk and a Parratt on their team so one might expect them to be flying high in the league. Not so, they are struggling near the bottom so today's game against free scoring Hertford Town should be a toughie. Town are fielding Pablo Ardiles at left back, son of Tottingham legend Ossie. Hertford edge the first half in an entertaining, end to end, match are are 2-1 up at the break. I approach the Referee and ask for the teamsheets to copy the players names down. He refuses my request because he 'has to speak to the two gentlemen here' (pointing to his linesmen). I offer to take the sheets outside but he is having none of it. Well Mr C Turner you can proudly claim to be the first Referee at over 400 non league grounds to snub my appeals. As I bemusedly leave the dressing room I notice that the two linesmen are smirking like schoolboys behind Mr Turner's back. The second half is as lively as the first, not even my friend in black can spoil it. Colney get a shock equaliser before Hertford rattle in another three to make it a seven goal bonanza. Great entertainment for £4.00.
This guy sounds a real anorak but I make the Referee spot on for not allowing him to get hold of the team sheets, why didn't he approach the Hertford or Colney Heath Secretaries who I'm sure would have allowed him to copy them down.

[Horace]

Mr Turner is one of the more approachable refs in the SSMFL. Perhaps Mr Groundhopper chose an unfortunate moment to approach him. Must say, I'd never think, as a casual visitor, to ask the ref for the team details!

[Football Man]

Originally Posted By: Rhodes

I arrive at Colney Heath of the SSML Premier Division in plenty of time to have a wander round the Recreation Ground (home of Arsenal Ladies Reserves).

Well, that's wrong for a start as the home of Arsenal Ladies Reserves is Potters Bar Town and has been for several seasons! Makes you wonder how factually correct this bloke attempts to be. I don't buy the NLP but I understand from speaking with other people that this column is written by an embittered northerner with a downer on all things southern, though I stand to be corrected on that by those of you who read the NLP regularly.

[Rhodes]

Potters Bar Town - I thought for a moment there, when I first saw your post, that you were going to shoot the messenger which wouldn't have surprised me. You won't be surprised to learn that I get the NLP every week but am not the biggest fan of this feature as it is too 'anorakish' (is that a word) for my liking and I often have to stick two fingers down my throat at comments such as the tree lined fishing pits behind one goal. This guy would have his work cut out describing what was behind the goal at the Tottenham end of Coles Park.

[Horace]

You claimed last week that you had only bought the NLP last week because of the fact that the "Hendon at New Wembley" spoof was in there, and demanded your £1.40 back!

[Rhodes]

I should have inserted the word 'invariably' as I always scan it in the newsagents first to see if it's worth buying, I only really bought it today as I knew you would all be interested in reading the groundhopper feature so in theory you should reimburse me with £1.40 this week too or donate it to the Kentish Town City Farm.

[Horace]

Originally Posted By: Rhodes

I should have inserted the word 'invariably' as I always scan it in the newsagents first to see if it's worth buying, I only really bought it today as I knew you would all be interested in reading the groundhopper feature so in theory you should reimburse me with £1.40 this week too or donate it to the Kentish Town City Farm.

So, you're one of those freeloaders who stand reading magazines in WH Smith with no intention of buying them, are you?

[Rhodes]

Not at all, as I said I invariably end up buying loads of magazines after scanning them first such as Four Two Four, Match and WSC, I never know when Kentish Town, 'the great one' or Toto might be mentioned and I keep a Club scrapbook with all the publicity we continually get. I'm already on my third volume and the season still has a month to run.

[Lato]

isn't it called Four Four Two?

[Horace]

Originally Posted By: Lato

isn't it called Four Four Two?

Not the Brazil 1970 version!

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted By: Lato

isn't it called Four Four Two?

Lato - I stand corrected, sincere apologies!

[Lato]

no worries rhodes.... though that reply is almost approaching irony!

 

[Rhodes]

Lato - What's your view of me becoming SSML Press Secretary next season, would you be in favour.

[Lato]

rhodes, I know you would do the job with diligence and enthusiasm. However to be truthful I would question whether your approach based on the KTFC example might antagonise too many people. No harm in nominating yourself though.

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted By: Lato

However to be truthful I would question whether your approach based on the KTFC example might antagonise too many people.

I'm shocked and disappointed by this view, I will be the epithomy of professionalism at all times and everyone will receive their bulletins on time apart from when there are postal go slows in areas such as Cheshunt and Nazeing.

[Lato]

you asked me for my view so I gave you an honest answer, however I see you neglect to comment on the rest of my post i.e the positive aspect of it!

[Rhodes]

Lato - Point taken and thanks but it goes without saying that I will do the job with diligence and enthusiasm, the're my middle names afterall.