An Alternative Match Report LONG!!

[Rick the Dick]

Posted by Alan Ainsworh on the Isthmian Fans Forum. Quite humerous, if not a touch "flowery". Obvously disagree with his comment regarding the PA Gazza!! Other than that worth a read if you've a spare half hour and a mug of steaming Tea:-

 

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The knives are out for boss Dave Anderson this evening after AFC Wimbledon were comprehensively outpointed in Essex.

On a perfect afternoon for football - calm, with the sun setting in a blue sky; a surprisingly firm, if understandably slick, pitch - both sides lined up in orthodox 4-4-2 formations and began cagily.

The first excitement saw Town spearhead Nathan Elder nimbly dart inside a floundering Steve Butler but, with a clear sight of goal, he failed to get hold of his shot and keeper Little watched the ball trundle harmlessly wide.

A minute later Dons midfielder Wes Daly, thirty yards from his own goal and in space, hit an appalling and unnecessary pass to his left whilst off balance. The ball found home striker Joe Flack with pinpoint accuracy. Though he had support inside, a bee-line for goal was the call and he will be disappointed to have scuffed his shot from just inside the box, allowing Little to turn the ball around his right post for a corner.

At this, the hulking 5'6" figure of Flack, who'd left his six colleagues a man short for the local afternoon matinee of "Snow White", somehow managed to impede Little, who remained rooted to his line as the equally gargantuan Lee Hodges' right-footed flag kick sailed straight into the net. "Hi-ho! Hi-ho!"

At this point Wimbledon already looked in diasrray. An enormous No Fly Zone seemed to exist between the central defenders (Kersey and Butler) and the central midfield duo (Daly and Gell). No attempt was made to fill the void. Blue shirts were allowed to drift into the space behind the Dons halfbacks and the centre-halves simply stood there, ten yards away, waiting for the Town player in possession to calmly knock a pass to a colleague making a supporting run through the channels. It was like watching Dan Marino sitting behind the early 80s offensive line for Miami, or Rob Andrew playing behind England's pack in the Carling era. Leon Hunter may as well have called for an armchair. Neither Butler nor Kersey ever made a move towards the home player in possession.

Sweeney, playing right-back, often drifted well infield - perhaps in an attempt to close down the channels opened by his stationary centre-halves - but, with Darlington playing well forward on the Wombles' right flank, this allowed Lee Hodges acres of space at outside-left for Town. After hitting one superb early cross with his left peg, Hodges either came inside to have a dig with his right (which he did to great effect) or knocked the ball out to Blues leftback Danny Kerrigan, who was always allowed to maraud down the whitewash unmolested and who crossed impressively.

Little made a decent save from Chris Whelpdale and watched a Kerrigan 25-yarder fly narrowly over. A sneaky Hodges backheel to Kerrigan produced a vicious outswinging cross that sailed untouched through the six-yard box. With Ricay in command, Wombles' striker Scott Fitzgerald collected a card for clattering home skipper Chris Dormer, the challenge being so late that nobody near me saw it.

Wimbledon did have the odd sortie. Some defensive pussyfooting saw them gain possession with numbers in the home box. Lewis Cook did well, but his shot, looking earmarked for the far corner, took a hefty deflection and may have hit a post.

Wimbledon were a shade lucky not to concede a penalty when a rugby-style ruck formed in their box. Kersey was on the deck and probably didn't know anything about either of the occasions, two seconds apart, when the ball hit his hands, but I have seen spot-kicks given for less.

At the other end, Daly did well to get over a high-bouncing ball and hammer a howitzer from the edge of the Town area. The ball hit a defender and rebounded past the Dons attackers. Ricay broke rapidly down the right and Gell professionally elected to terminate the move before he could possibly be deemed the last man, neatly felling Whelpdale near halfway and collecting a booking.

Arguably Wimbledon's best chance came when Darlington and D'Sane combined well down the right and the veteran's cross skimmed untouched across the home goalmouth, though it might have looked closer to the onrushing red shirts than it was.

More sloppy Dons play then allowed Hunter to snaffle the ball in the final third. He fed Whelpdale on the right and, ignoring support inside, the right-winger (popular in Billericay) took a few strides into the box and beat Little with a low drive. 2-0.

Wimbledon's heads soon appeared to go down after the break. Fitzgerald put a decent chance wide with an early header, but Little, who looked unsteady throughout, was soon flapping and missing a high floater at the other end. The Dons display was summed up when Cook, deep in his own half, was harried from behind by McSweeney, was dispossessed, then gave away a free-kick by hauling the fullback down.

McSweeney and Gell got a lecture from the ref for an off-the-ball handbags session. Wimbledon - and a few of their fans - then began to chirp persistently at the ref and linesmen. Fitzgerald made an exaggerated, theatrical, lengthy and hugely optimistic appeal for a free-kick in the box at what he alone reckoned was a Ricay backpass.

In a short decent spell, a Dons exocet his Dormer on the arm and the ref deemed the distance sufficient to award a free-kick, three yards outside the box. Daly thumped the ball out of the ground.

The PA is dire at New Lodge. The sub who replaced Fitzgerald up front on the hour was presumably Goddard, though I'm sure he wore Watson's number. Little changed but the new man did have an appeal for a penalty rejected when keeper McMahon was tardy coming out for a bouncing through-ball and bundled the onrushing striker over as the pair went for the ball in the air.

Ricay's claim for a pen soon after wasn't rejected. Haswell practicing some ju-jitsu in his own area, effecting an impressive win by Ippon, but injuring himself in executing the throw and being spotted by the referee. Unsportingly, he did this just after penalty taker Hodges had gone off. Hunter went low right with the spotkick. 3-0.

Bubb arrived for the limping Haswell, with Darlington going to leftback - taking away one of the few decent outlets Wimbledon had. D'Sane managed the type of ball control more suited to the donors' room at a fertility clinic than an opposition D when clear on goal, allowing McMahon to shoot out and clear up the mess, as the ball squirted away.

Cook sportingly hoofing the ball out of play to allow the Town physio on to treat the injured Whelpdale was arguably the most impressive thing any Wimbledon player did all afternoon.

McSweeney might have been lucky to stay on when he possibly raised an arm after Gell attempted to renew their spat with a late challenge that resounded around the ground. The handbags came out again. With 30 seconds left, the ref sensibly decided to leave things at a second bollocking for each player.

Three-nil was a fair reflection.

Ricay may well be good enough to make the play-offs.

On this showing, Wimbledon won't. It's hard to know what to make of this. On paper, the Dons players are good enough to win this division. I saw Lewis Cook a few times off the bench at Wycombe (4 divisons up from this) and he was quite highly rated there, though no always playing out wide. He did very little to supply the strikers today. I saw much more of Fitzgerald at Watford (5 divisions above RPL level, and he was their top scorer) where he often looked a bit lost as an out-and-out striker - tending to either goalhang or dash about like a headless chicken. They moved him out wide, where his awareness of teammates was non-existent but where he did trouble defenders by running at them with a fair amount of pace and did cross the ball quite respectably. Today, he looked a big-hearted big lunk of a number nine, getting no service. D'Sane played well, without support, but I've never seen him as an out-and-out goalscorer, even though he impressed at Aldershot (2 divisions higher). The space Wimbledon gave Ricay in the middle of the park was a joke. It's total crap to say they should put a bloke in front of the back four, because that shouldn't be necessary: one of the back two has to come to an attacker in possession; tody neither did anything but either stand there or retreat - not advancing and not picking up a runner. The nimble Dons midfielders can't give opponents that much time and space and can't let them sneak goalside.

Wimbledon have now been rumbled. Margate won't cagily sit back and try to edge a probable 0-0 with one goal next time. Protheroe and McKimm will be further up and will be hitting Hockton and Pinnock. Give Heybridge this much space and let Jolly and Co run the channels and the Dons will be onto a hiding. Wimbledon look a slightly above average RPL team, playing slightly below their potential: they don't look a good side playing badly. Something is seriously wrong.

Even to make 84pts - and that probably won't be good enough to win this division - the Dons will need 57 from their 26 remainig games. That's 17 wins, 6 draws and 3 defeats. This side can't do that. Injuries haven't helped, but a big improvement is needed soon if this season isn't to slip away.

 

 

[GazzaBTFC]

"The sub who replaced Fitzgerald up front on the hour was presumably Goddard, though I'm sure he wore Watson's number".

 

I read the number on the sheet next to the name...if it was wrong, then it was a mistake by their club...It's not like I am intimate with every AFC player!!!

 

"The PA is dire at New Lodge".

 

It passed the health and safety and has a walk round check vefore every game...The music, I will admit, was a little on the "iffy" side, not up to my best but still a bloody sight better than having some "hip hop" DJ pour out his jungle street sounds that I heard at AFC last year...And he hasn't been to Melbourne Park yet...I wonder what he'll make of the "whisper"....

[Balmoral Claret]

"And he hasn't been to Melbourne Park yet...I wonder what he'll make of the "whisper"...."

 

If you're referring to the tannoy Gazza - I understand that it's been attended to since you were last there, and now blows your ear-drums out.

However, if you're referring to the absence of musical entertainment, then yes, it's a bit of a bummer, but unfortunately conforms to council regulations. The fans aren't too pleased about it, but the local residents are overjoyed!

[Rick the Dick]

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GazzaBTFC said:
The music, I will admit, was a little on the "iffy" side

I liked the pre-match music Gazza. Can't remember much about the interval.

[GazzaBTFC]

Thanks Rick...On reflection, I thought it a bit "bitty"...Still, Mystery Song by the Quo was a delight to hear....As well as the Muse new single.

[finisterre]

It wasn't until I was on the way home that I made the link between 'Wombling Merry Christmas' and our visitors. Doh! Good shout!

[GazzaBTFC]

Thank you...it was on standy should we had won...which we did...

[Nitetime Neil]

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GazzaBTFC said:
but still a bloody sight better than having some "hip hop" DJ pour out his jungle street sounds that I heard at AFC last year

That fella who did it at Kingsmeadow last year is Chris Phillips a long-time Wimbledon fan who used to do the honours at Selhurst Park and was for many years the daytime jock on Kiss 100 and a keen supporter of the hip hop/rnb genre of music. Just thought I'd mention it !

[Nitetime Neil]

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finisterre said:
It wasn't until I was on the way home that I made the link between 'Wombling Merry Christmas' and our visitors. Doh! Good shout!

And also, you got a mention in the Echo match report for doing that Gazza ! Inspired choice I must say and one that even got a couple of Wombles fans smiling as they trudged pointless away from New Lodge...