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Oi Rob. Fans Forum: January 23rd 2003


AFF

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I'm still here.

 

White. Always white. No braille versions. No forms are to be produced for written responses by The Chairman. 2500 sheets is quite a lot, actually. I might have a better idea.

 

Verbal questions? VERBAL QUESTIONS? This is a Fans Forum. We can't allow just anyone to speak.

 

A system, that's what we need. A system.

 

 

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Oh dear. It seems no-one thought about pens.

 

SCRAP IT ALL!! Spread the word, the Fans' Forum is cancelled. cynic has no braille form to fill in, and no-one else has any pens to fill in the form with, should they not be going to the forum.

 

AFF. No verbal questions? So we're being gagged. Fine. That's it then. You've left me with no other choice, but to do a Rage Against The Machine. I'm going to turn up, naked and gagged, and stand in the middle of the clubhouse (on a table, for effect)saying and doing nothing. It's my own form of social protest.

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Good point, G Angel.

 

I certainly don't take a pen to a game, and I don't suppose many others do. 700 pens or even pencils is likely to stretch the budget, but then not everyone will want to write a question. We could have a small number, 150 or so, available in the clubhouse. We should recover the initial investment in bar profits.

 

One thing that this lot has demonstrated to me is that nothing in this world is straightforward.

 

Oh, by the way. G Angel. You missed, or perhaps did not contribute to an interesting short thread on the General Forum last week concerning a new true-life, fly-on-the-wall documentary on T.V. last week called "Trust". The fascinating world of Corporate Lawyers. It's on again tonight. Are you in it and if so, which one are you?

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Quote:
We could have a small number, 150 or so, available in the clubhouse. We should recover the initial investment in bar profits.


When you say 'available in the clubhouse,' do you mean available for sale? Or do you mean freely available for use? Where would the pens be situated? Strategic positioning would be vital, as a random scattering of pens could cause chaos, and even take someone's eye out. Putting 150 pens on the bar would cause congestion.

'Recover the investment in bar profits.' To fully recover the investment, we would need to increase bar profits by the cost of the pens. Let me explain.

150 pens at (let's say) 50p each. That is £75.

Normal bar profit (let's say) £100. Let's say this pays the wages of John Feneeneley.

Purchase of pens leaves us £75 short.

£100 bar profit pays £75 for the pens, but only £25 for John Feneeneneley. £150 bar pfoit only gives John Funelely £75.

Do you understand?
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No, no, no, GHA. You're not quite there with this concept.

 

If pens or pencils are declared to be available in the clubhouse, a large number of fans will go there to complete their question forms. While they are there, a number can be expexted to buy a drink. In this way, bar profits are increased.

 

WAIT.

 

We will state on the forms that writing implements will be available in the clubhouse. Now, get this, GHA. We will supply 2 pencils. When a couple of hundred fans go up to the clubhouse to complete their question forms, they will buy several drinks while they are waiting for a pencil. Bar profits will go trhrough the roof.

 

Who is John Feneeeleely?

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John Feenelleellio is our kit man, AFF. Am I the only one that pays attention and sees things around here?

 

Are pencils such a wise choice? They snap easily when in the wrong hands, thus ruining the form-filling-in process.

 

Surely many form-filling-inners will take their forms home to complete?

 

Will 2 pencils contain enough graphite to supplement 792,313 (that's a rough estimate by the way) words on so many forms? Some questions could be really long.

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You don't have to write the team down as well, do you HB?

 

I thiught that the £50,000 a year was for taking the team-sheet from Cookie to the referee one hour before kick-off. You should ask for a re-appraisal. [Don't buy any of that "4% subject to modernisation" stuff, either HB. Job losses.]

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i have given the FORM problem some serious consideration..before i FORMulate my opinions into a workable FORMula i would like congratulate the contributers thus far on an excellent perFORMance.. i feel that AFF and GHA have ,as per usual, set the platFORM for some quality debate, though it would be remiss of me to not mention LAZ's attempt to reFORM the system with his novel base 64 approach. naturally i did not expect you to conFORM to the limited ,some may say gestapoesque, pre question vetting..why you should inFORM the club beforehand is beyond me, important information such as grandpaernts martial arts skill are vital to the wellbeing of the average football fan.. anyway to conclude, outside of terraFORMing the surronding area clarence park is doomed , despite FORMidable resistance your out of there, wave goodbye to your FORMer resisdence and hello to the all new FORMal merger plans with stevenage

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re: pens

 

It's OK, I've already thought of this one. GHA will be despatched to the nearest Ladbroke's to purloin (i.e steal) a few dozen ballpoint pens which they keep on display for the discerning punters. GHA will then make said pens available at both entrances to the Park along with afore mentioned forms. Total cost to the club: £0 (apart from GHA's bus fare into St Albans which as a loyal supporter he will agree to waive). QED.

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O.K.,O.K.,O.K.

 

That's enough.

 

As is often the way, a simple idea has become over-complicated. Labour intensive and costly. No forms are to be made available, nor pens, pencils etc. Economy measures. Anyone who wants to ask a question must write on their own paper with their own pen/pencil. The paper should then be handed to that Chairman of the Supporters Club chap.

 

Anyone who finds that task onerous doesn't deserve to have a question answered by The Chairman.

 

Talking of economy measures, I think that some thought should be given to the £50,000 a year that The Club pays for the team sheet to be taken from Cookie to the referee 1 hour before kick-off. If Cookie were to walk across the corridor himself, or perhaps ask one of the substitutes to do it, The Club would save quite a lot of money. £50,000 a year, in fact. I know what you're thinking. Employment Tribunal. Well I've thought of that. Modernisation.

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