Christmas Cake Recipe for 2003

[Big J R]

MY FAVOURITE XMAS CAKE RECIPE

 

Ingredients:

 

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

nuts

1 x 2 litre bottle Johnnie Walker Black Lable

2 cups of dried fruit

 

Method:

 

Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

 

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup.

 

Turn the mixerer off. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

 

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.

 

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sh1t.

Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

 

Add one table.

 

Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven and p1ss in the fridge.

 

Turn the cake tin 350 defrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

 

Throw the bowl through the f***ing window.

 

Check the whisky again and go to bed.