English as she is spoke.......

[Burnham Lad]

 

AEROPLANE BLONDE – One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

 

AUSSIE KISS – Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

 

BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

 

BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pi**ed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.

 

BOBFOC - Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

 

BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first pi** in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

 

BRITNEY SPEARS - Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

 

SSSS****IIIITTTT - The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

 

GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

 

JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

 

MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonder bra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually f**k-all in there worth seeing.

 

MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

 

MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

 

MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

 

NELSON MANDELA - Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

 

PEARL HARBOUR - Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there” (there's a nasty nip in the air)

 

PICASSO AR*E - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.

 

SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

 

SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive woman.

 

TART FUEL - Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

 

TITANIC - A lady who goes down first time out.

 

WALLACE AND GROMIT - Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

 

WYNONA RYDER - Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen"

 

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[Mikeekim]

lol, where do you get these things from!!!