The Chuck Martini Super Duper Happy Time Challenge Game

[Barry Scott]

As you are aware, this is the season of Lent where we give up things in order to realise how much we miss them. For some, this could be cigarettes or alcohol (but not me, oh no) but for others it is teh constant barrage of FILTH and NAUGHTY POTTY MOUTHED LANGUAGE hurled at non-league goalkeepers during the mighty Rebel's travels from the backwaters of Essex, through the backwaters of London and back again through the backwaters of Essex.

 

This weekend, sees the return of the ONLY Morrocan international to have ever graced the hallowed turf of The Black Hole Of Charisma AND your friend Chuck Martini. To honour this holiest of holy days which is even above the birth of our Lord and Saviour and but below the seventeenth Sunday after Pentecoste and Advent Week, I have devised a game which will provide much mirth, amusement and bragging rights here on the interwebnets:

 

The Chuck Martini Super Duper Happy Fun Bingo Time Arrgh Snakes! On! A! Plane! Chili Sauce Competition.

 

Simply make a guess on the time when Super Chuck can't take the barrels of abuse coming from those SINNERS behind the goal and you could win a super duper happy fun time prize*. The only caveat is that I, Nibbler, Supreme Ruler of The Universe will be adjucating using the Watch of Possible Discomfort. The only other caveat is that bad language is to be kept to a minimum - think of the children - and special bonus super duper happy fun prizes* may be given for the most humourous insult not to use any of my favourite words.

 

So guess away, and may the best Chuck win.

 

* - prizes may explode and may or may not even exist.

[GarySTFC]

Oh dear god, Nibbler has finally flipped...

[Barry Scott]

well, if we make it one pound entry we could SHOCK HORROR TERROR raise money for the trust

[GarySTFC]

why the trust and not the club?

[Barry Scott]

erm... Did I mention possible exploding and not existing prizes?

[GarySTFC]

Yep, and you also mentioned the possibility of a one pound entry for making money for the trust. Hence my question.

[Barry Scott]

It has not yet been decided, as I have yet to convene The Chuck Martini Super Duper Happy Time Challenge Game (copyright trademark 2006) Board of Directive Governing Senators. A press release will be forthcoming shortly. Possibly I could give the money to the trust to give to the club OR I could invest in penguin futures

[GarySTFC]

Could you not donate to S.O.A.P marketing fund?

[Guest]

please do not use words (super duper) !

 

means (great [****!!****]) ! in Polish ....

 

liam you poof ! knew you were dodgy....

 

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

[Martin]

I think it will be after about 36 minutes. Slough muster there first shot on goal which Chuck miraculously palms round the post as oppossed to the roof of the net. Some connoisseur of the beautiful game pipes up with a "Good save" and with this vicious insult Chuck flips and starts talking about kebabs and people's mothers. Concentration shattered he tries to catch the ensuing corner only to throw the ball between his legs for an own goal. And then he cries. Much like DJZ.

[Barry Scott]

I am currently in talks about getting Snakes On A Plane to sponsor the team next year. Watch this space...

[evadne]

I'm not sure that I've altogether gathered the rules of this competition but I'll guess 45 minutes (+), i.e. as he leaves the field at half time, he will vent his spleen on an innocent Nibbler.

[BFR]

As I'm not at the game on Saturday, it is up to you guys to give Chuck hell

[Barry Scott]

I was going to offer five minute increments and give people SUPER SPECIAL TWO FOR ONE BONUS for time after the WATCH OF POSSIBLE DISCOMFORT has passed the designated time for one half of soccerfootball to have passed, but the directive governing senators are currently engaged in a spot of goat throwing, so I may have answers at the game.

[Don Juan DeMarcus]

I reckon 27! Is this time to be judged when he first looks pissed off/ gives us evils/ or tries to be a smart [****!!****] back at us (IE 'Its not over yet'- before letting ina further 3 goals?)

[Woody SUFC]

Chuck "If i am [****!!****] why are we going to beat you?"

 

Final Score? 2-1! You don't know how long we waited to piss him off! Loved each and every second of it.

[Barry Scott]

Final rules:

 

The winner of the main competition is the person who get's closest to the time when Chuck visibly snaps and directs foul language or a wannabe sarcastic comment. The secondary winner is the person or persons who comes up with the most amusing insult which will be solely judged by me. Bonus points shall be awarded for most creative combo swearing i.e. three wheeled sh1t wagon.

 

The prizes will be decided at a later date, if they don't explode in the meantime.

[Don Juan DeMarcus]

Loving this

 

Click here for funky lurve

[Barry Scott]

the winner of the prize is Matt Webb who wins a (sort of) VIP night of pure entertainment for himself and a guest including:

 

paid for Taxi from his home to Slough Cinema

two pints of the beverage of his and his guests' choice

two tickets to see the GREATEST MOVIE EVER - also known as Snakes On A Plane

a large portion of popcorn for himself and his guest

an accompanying beverage for himself and his guest

two further beverages of his and his guests choice after the film

 

all of the above will be paid for by me, for his line:

 

"He's a few snakes short of a plane" so congratulations to Matt for his sterling work, and also runners up prizes of tickets to teh film go to Ian Lathey, Marcus Kirby and Martin McCabe for their also amusing banter. Radders, you win nothing.

[Radders]

What about the lift home??? You're a disgrace!!!!!