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How many?

WhiteRiot

By WhiteRiot
in St. Albans City Forum

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AFF Newbie

AFF

Posted
Posted

Annoying? A-bl00dy-noying?

 

For the love of Jesus, she has to write a match report for the Southampton Crow or whatever it's called. How difficult is that? 350 words? 500? I don't know.

 

First para: Outline summary of the outcome of the match "A spirited performance by Eastleigh was not enough to halt the march of title-chasing St Albans City etc. etc...... Second paragraph: The starting line up of the Mighty Spitfires "An outbreak of food poisoning following the pasta lunch arranged by matchday sponsors "La Dolce Vita" restaurant forced manager Alf Tupper into 8 changes from the team that defeated Weymouth 7-0 last week.....

 

Then into the match report. It's the Southampton Argus not the Nobel prize for literature, for goodness sake.

 

Why can't she make the notes of each incident, go home and before doing the ironing or making her husband's dinner, write it up and then phone it in, in one hit. If she was any good at writing match reports she could do 90% of it on Friday evening before doing the housework. Just fill in the score-line and the goal-scorers on the day.

 

But no. Oh my word, no. Every 15 minutes she phones her mate on the copy-desk and dictates what has happened to date. Every 15 minutes!! In a loud voice. You must read it every week. What does it look like? Readable?

 

So Dan. When you're standing behind the goal with your mates on Saturday, instead of saying "That Wayne. Just think how good he'd be if he was as sylph-like as their Ben Walshe." Or "We aren't the same side since that long-haired bloke scored 50 goals in the Ryman Division 1", take along last week's copy of the Southampton Daily Press and read out 5 sentences of the lady's match report every 15 minutes. In a loud voice. Spelling every word of more than one syllable. Include grammar, i.e. say out loud 'comma'. new paragraph' etc. :

 

"City's Ram that's R A M for Mother Suzie Marwa that's M for mother A R W A Suze scored the first with a trade hyphen mark glancing header from an inch hyphen perfect, Eh? no Suzie inch hyphen perfect corner from the left from Ben Walshe capital W A L S H E, comma deflected by Lee that's capital L double E not E I G H Clarke, that's Clarke with an E on the end etc etc etc ad infinitum ad nauseam."

 

Then let us know on Monday what those around you thought of the performance. Annoying is a word that may come up.

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YELLOW Newbie

YELLOW

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Posted

By whom, may I ask?

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YELLOW Newbie

YELLOW

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Posted

I'll take a look later when I get a chance.

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YorkRoadLad Newbie

YorkRoadLad

Posted
Posted

Zagreus, I don't know why you are giving it all the spuds to these lads. Admittedly I don't know who they are but they seem game and we will share a beer with them if we meet up with them. Fair play for making the effort lads.

 

How many of you lot will be there?

 

Regards

 

York Road Dresser Crew

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