simply apalling joke

[and1inthetree]

There was once a man named Gervais (pronounced Frenchly) who owned a world-famous fish restaurant. Now, it just so happens that along one wall of this restaurant was a giant fish tank, full of fish to be served. Patrons would walk over to the tank, select which specimen was to be their dinner, and it would be cooked to their liking. There was one creature in particular, however, that Gervais refused to sacrifice: the Wild Green Hairy-lipped Squid. Whenever a customer requested it, he would inform them that, regretfully, it had already been reserved by another customer. But one day an excessively rich city tycoon came in and requested this magnificent specimen, and when Gervais told him it was reserved, he offered to pay several million pounds just for that one dish. Now Gervais, enticed by the thought of such great riches, complied. He removed the squid from the tank and brought it out to the chopping board. He raised the meat cleaver, but then caught the eye of the squid. That dark pool; so expressive, so pitiful and when Gervais looked into it all the memories of the happy years he had enjoyed with the squid flooded back. He broke down in tears, and simply could not kill it. He wished to go with the sale, however, so he called upon Hans. Now Hans was a very large German sort, accustomed normally to washing the dishes and other simple tasks around the kitchen. A former member of the German special forces, Hans was not a man to be troubled by such emotional matters. They were for the weak. Full of confidence, he pinned the squid down and raised the meat cleaver. But then the squid's eye caught his own and, mesmerised by it's beauty, wisdom and mournful stillness, Hans broke down in tears for the first time in his life.

 

The moral of the story?

 

[see below]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hans that do dishes can be as soft as Gervais with Wild Green Hairy-lipped Squid.

[smallsy]

i dont get the last bit. i am not messing around can u explain it please.

[tinky]

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

[zody]

old ones are the best Treestump

[and1inthetree]

dear oh dear.

 

a joke is never funny if you have to explain it. especially if it's not that funny in the 1st place.

 

fairy liquid had a really annoying jingle for their ads in the late 80's early 90's (that's how old this 'joke' is) that went "hands that wash dishes can feel soft as your face, with mild green fairy liquid"...

 

only other washing up liquid joke i can think of is a child from tilbury goes up to her mum whilst she's washing up and says "mummy, why are your hands so soft"

 

mum replies "because i'm 13"

 

TAXI FOR TREEEEBOYYY!!!!!