Classic Oldie

[zody]

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. So she decided to put an ad in the local paper that read:

 

HUSBAND WANTED:

 

MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70'S),

 

MUST NOT BEAT ME,

 

MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME

 

AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!

 

ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

 

On the second day after her add ran in the paper, she heard the doorbell.

 

Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.

 

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?

 

Just look at you...you have no legs!

 

The old man smiled. "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

 

She snorted. "You don't have any arms either!"

 

Again the old man smiled, "I will never beat you!"

 

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed???"

 

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said..."I rang the doorbell, didn't I ????

[Barry Scott]

you realise there is a joke forum here don't you?

[zody]

is there, where, please give directions

[Jeff]

Got to General Forums - Off Topic - Laughter Lounge where you can post old jokes to your hearts content ;-)

[zody]

in our pub we tell jokes aswell as debating, dont you

[Jeff]

No!

This is a very serious boozer.

[Jeff]

By the way, do you have the relevant ID to be here?

I mentioned earlier this was a serious watering hole.

[zody]

tell me what qualifications I need Jeff

[Jeff]

Over 18 and a willingness to buy lots of rounds should do it!

[zody]

wheres the pub

[Jeff]

You're in it.

It's a virtual pub.

Mines a stella please?

[Kaiser Jnr]

Any good looking barmaids like these?!

[zody]

which one is you kaister

[Ryman Fan.]

I knew there was something strange about Kaiser. Dressing in drag. Say it ain't so.

[zody]

bit tasty all the same, want to go out in a 4 some

[Ryman Fan.]

Quote:

zody said:
bit tasty all the same, want to go out in a 4 some

What with Kaiser in Drag. Errrrr let me think about it....No.

[zody]

so the picture isnt Kaister then

[Ryman Fan.]

Quote:

zody said:
so the picture isnt Kaister then

I thought you meant Kaiser. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/achso.gif" alt="" />

[zody]

I did, didnt I, I think <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[dr gas]

Quote:

zody said:
in our pub we tell jokes aswell as debating, dont you

sounds like a lot of mass debating goes on...