Ukrika limericks

[Rob_the_Saint]

Here's one somebody just sent me. Let's see if you can do any better...

 

There was a young girl called Ulrika

whose sex life couldn't be sweeter

she got battered by Stan,

and Sven was a fan

then she was raped by a bloke from Blue Peter

 

 

[SAINTS64MAD]

the last line is really stupid!

Heres something different!

 

Sex,Drugs Rock and Roll

Speed,Weed,Birth Control

Life's a Bitch and then we die

So Fu*k the world and lets get high.

 

I found it funny!

[Colin Zeal EFM]

 

Ulrika - that blonde Swedish whore,

Was probably feeling quite poor,

So the scheming old bag,

Invented a shag,

With that nice man from Wheel Of For (-tune)

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

I heard that top one last night.

 

I'm trying to think of my own - My last set of limericks were ridiculed.

[Chubbhead EFM]

Mad for once i agree with you, that last line on the first limerick is a stupid one.

[GHA EFM]

John Leslie. He was on Blue Peter, wasn't he? MAD, yours isn't even a limerick.

[Colin Zeal EFM]

There was a young man on This Morning,

Who was feeling incredibly horny,

So he snorted some coke,

And just for a joke,

Had sex with a Swede who is scrawny.

 

 

Just a thought - surely Ulrika would be able to run faster with her skirt round her waist than John Leslie would with his trousers round his ankles. <img src="/forums/images/icons/wink.gif" alt="" />

 

 

Cue the feminist brigade...

[Chubbhead EFM]

Well the one thing that all this has taught me if that I was ever raped, i wouldn't report it because no one actually cares,and also they would think i'm a slag! <img src="/forums/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />

[Colin Zeal EFM]

To be fair, I think most people thought Ulrika was a slag before any of these allegations came out.

 

All a bit tasteless though, I guess, although sick gags about Ulrika or Barrymore or Diana or AIDS or whatever seem to keep us Brits happy.

 

Why is this?? Discuss!....

[Chubbhead EFM]

Yeah but come on, she was 19 when this allegedly happened! That's only two years older than me! anyway, according to the Daily Mirror today, 29 women have made allegations against John Leslie. I know I shouldn't get wound up by these gags and I know it's only meant to be a bit of fun and all that but as a woman(or girl) I can't help it.

[Colin Zeal EFM]

No, you're absolutely right, and I do agree with you.

 

But yes, it is only meant to be a bit of fun, and I think the reason we joke about it, is because this story does not affect our own daily lives at all.

 

However, if something like that were to happen to someone we knew, then we'd all be appalled. I know if it happened to a loved-one of mine, I'd want to kill the bloke concerned.

 

Nevertheless, I guess the fact she was only 19 has made the story hit home to you in a way that maybe it hasn't to us lads. Sorry. <img src="/forums/images/icons/frown.gif" alt="" />

 

[SAINTS64MAD]

GHA didnt you find mine a little funny?

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

John Leslie was in Blue Peter, so limerick 1 is good and valid!