Blonde jokes

[TB&G]

Just thought I'd add a little missing quality to the messageboard for a change.

 

>

> >Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench

> >talking........and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think

> >is farther away..........Florida or the moon? "The other blonde turns

> >and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????

> >-----------------------------------------------------.

> >CAR TROUBLE

> >A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

> >She tells the mechanic it died.

> >After he works on it for a few minutes,

> >it is idling smoothly. She says,"What's the story?"

> >He replies, "Just c**p in the carburetor"

> >She asks,"How often do I have to do that?"

> >--------------------------------------------------------------.

> >SPEEDING TICKET

> >A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks

> >her very nicely if he could see her license.

> >She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get

> >your act together.

> >Just yesterday you take away my license and then

> >today you expect me to show it to you!"

> >--------------------------------------------------------------.

> >RIVER WALK

> >There's this blonde out for a walk.

> >She comes to a river and sees another

> >blonde on the opposite bank.

> >"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,

> >"How can I get to the other side?

> >" The second blonde looks up the river then down the

> >river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

> >--------------------------------------------------------------.

> >KNITTING

> >A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the

> >freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the

> >blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

> >Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,

> >the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn

> >and yelled , "PULL OVER!"

> >"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

> >-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

> >BLONDE ON THE SUN

> >A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

> >The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

> >The American said, "We were the first on the moon!

> >" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on

> >the sun!"

> >The Russian and the American looked at each other and

> >shook their heads.

> >"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"

> >said the Russian.

> >To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.

> >We're going at night!"

> >--------------------------------------------------------------

> >IN A VACUUM

> >A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.

> >It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on

> >Science &Nature.

> >Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone

> >calls your name, can you hear it?"

> >She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

> >---------------------------------------------------------------

> >FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

> >A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,

> >and asked her what their names were.

> >The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex

> >and one was named Timex.

> >Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs

> >like that?"

> >"HelOOOooo," answered the blond.-"They're watch dogs!"

[Lunatic Fridge]

Don't give up the day job, Lupo

[zody]

His full time job is a joke teller Lun

[Kaiser Jnr]

good post lupercus, always time for blonde or essex girl jokes

[TB&G]

Quote:

Lunatic Fridge said:
Don't give up the day job, Lupo

I already have.

Can't find anything better to do.

Gets boring here in my shed.

But at least I'm now in vogue.

And before you ask, Zody. No it's not the magazine I'me referring to.

[zody]

Lup, plenty of fund raising jobs to do at the club if you have time