Thurrock match report from the telegraph.

[and1inthetree]

fairly amusing.

 

Name: Norman Posner. Job title: Editor of match-day programme; public address announcer; ace reporter; timekeeper; referees' liaison officer and pillar of society. Salary: you must be joking. Strongly recommended for: New Year's honours list.

 

As Thurrock FC head for the fourth qualifying round of the FA Cup they and the nation at large would do well to remember their indebtedness to the Normans of this world. Saturday's nervy 1-0 win over Solihull Borough would have failed to register on the snickometer had it not been for his intermittent announcements to the silent minority who witnessed it.

 

Thurrock's progress in the competition would go largely unnoticed were it not for Norman's reportage in the twice weekly Non-League Paper and his Himalayan efforts to produce an 80-page colour programme for each home fixture. Come to think, he's probably out in the industrial estates of south Essex selling advertising space the rest of the week. He confessed: "My wife helps out with the typing because she thinks I overdo it a bit." She's right.

 

Norman broke off the conversation when Thurrock were awarded a 23rd minute penalty. It seemed poor reward for Solihull's refusal to be overawed by a team two categories above them. The West Midlanders had already given Ilkeston Town a 3-0 spanking in the previous round to indicate that status did not impress them. As it happened Craig O'Connor biffed his shot against a post which surprised no one. His run-up had betrayed all the anxieties of an Aussie fast bowler who can't stop overstepping the crease.

 

The Solihull contingent smelled blood. Their seven supporters thumped the perimeter advertising boards, creating a relative cacophony of sound to which Thurrock were singularly unaccustomed. The only roar they ever hear is from M25 traffic crossing Dartford bridge. The only time a member of their tiny retinue of fans puts his hands together is to squash a fly.

 

Thurrock were suddenly in retreat and lucky not to concede when Justin Marsden grazed the crossbar with a nifty header. The same player had immortality within his grasp deep into the second half but, after rounding the Thurrock goalkeeper, contrived to stub his toe and watch his apology for a shot bobble harmlessly short of the empty target. It was quintessential English cup football - short on poetry, long on semi-pros.

 

A giant-killing or at least a replay was in the offing. Sadly, Borough's founder and life president, Joe McGorian had to rely on mobile phone despatches because he was incapacitated back home. The former Rover shop steward, now in his 75th year, is Solihull's answer to Norman Posner.

 

With great reluctance I had to abort Joe's brief history of Solihull Borough when I heard the milkman arrive and the kids coming down for breakfast. He ran the club with his mum, Delia, who not only washed two sets of kit each week but knitted them in the first place. Joe said: "The washing line nearly collapsed when she hung the shirts out to dry. It blotted out the sun." Joe had been banned from no fewer than five launderettes because the kit kept clogging up the machinery and the foam ran into the street.

 

Compared to the traumas of the Fifties, Solihull's immediate objective to "get Thurrock back to our place" seemed straightforward until 12 minutes from time. O'Connor twisted his belated way into Borough's box and shot home through a crowded goalmouth.

 

Norman fisted the air as though 21 years of slavish devotion had been vindicated. Remembering his duty, he calmed down enough to announce the name of the marksman without a hint of bias before burying his head in his notebook again.

 

I swear I heard a stifled cheer somewhere in the middle distance but it could have been an illusion. Thurrock will have to reach the FA Cup final to generate any real interest around here.

 

The story so far

 

Aug 20: Extra preliminary rd

Wembley FC 0 St Neots 2

 

Aug 27: Preliminary rd

St Neots 1 Hemel Hempstead 4

 

Sept 10: 1st qualifying rd

Ipswich Wanderers 1 Hemel Hempstead 1

 

Sept 13: 1st qual rd replay

Hemel Hempstead 4 Ipswich Wanderers 1

 

Sept 24: 2nd qualifying rd

Thurrock 3 Hemel Hempstead 2

 

Oct 8: 3rd qualifying rd

Thurrock 1 Solihull Borough 0

[Mitchurchin]

I could never quite understand how this team has managed to get on the BBC live two seasons running when they have no fans.

 

I looked at their website yesterday (poor) and there is no mention of attendances, I suspect for the simple reason that they are very small. Still, if their benefactor wants to pour money away, that's his or her call.

 

I don't envy their situation, I'd rather be behind a team with proper, dedicated support with people who care throughout the set up, from the fans through to management and players. It's why we will continue to grow, where these fly by night teams will eventually dissapear.

[onebreast]

I read this article yesterday and have to say the writer Tony Francis makes out that in general non league football is poorly supported and badly run. I think he is a [****!!****]!

[pabird]

Quote:

Mitchmusic said:
I could never quite understand how this team has managed to get on the BBC live two seasons running when they have no fans.

small. Still, if their benefactor wants to pour money away, that's his or her call.

I don't envy their situation, I'd rather be behind a team where these fly by night teams will eventually dissapear.

Dearie me how the lesson recently learned at your place flew over your head <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/bisou.gif" alt="" />

[Diz]

Correct pabird! lessons where learnt, but we still find ourselves with a bigger and better fan base than Purfleet and long may it continue!

[YELLOW]

To be honest Purfleet is in the middle of nowhere. You have to drive to get to the ground!!

[Uncle Urchin]

fck orf pabird...if only you had the bottle to have learned some lessons in your sad life instead of pontificating about everyone else's....our fans are thrice what you understand a fan to be....how many clubs have you supported now...?

 

fckn ghouls............ <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[pabird]

A Spurs supporter since 1948 and an observer where my lad(s) play

 

The issue was not with your top class support but with a (one off) supporter who was being myopic in his view about financial support for a club and suggesting that those clubs who had money poured in beyond their ability to survive on gate money etc where less than honourable

that was crap and I pointed out that as an urchin he must be suffering short term memory loss

 

There will always be football mad wealthy people who pour money into local clubs, good on em

[Eastside Urchin]

"a spurs supporter since 1948"

says it all!!

[Uncle Urchin]

ha ha...the early bird as usual pabird..... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

 

did it cross your mind that the poster may not be aware of our past problems and that he was just expressing a personal view which these boards are of course used for... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

 

tempus fugit dear chap...tempus fugit... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

 

as it happens Thurrock are not a good example anyway as they will never be self sufficient but thanks to colin mcbride's shrewdness run a very tight ship on surprisingly low wages for the level that they play at...

 

I also know that you are an avid follower of your sons careers and go where they go so don't bite so easily....

 

its your age old boy.... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[pabird]

Morning Unc, no spite just handy to get the day underway early on.

PS. the records this year demonstrate the real value of your gate support which appears excellent

[Uncle Urchin]

they are indeed something of a phenomenum in their large and loyal support thru whatever..(especially the riverside) <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />....

[Baron of Black Fen]

not to mention the ease side

[pabird]

Oh alright no mention of the East side then

[Uncle Urchin]

you can never hear 'em anyway.... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Baron of Black Fen]

turn the hearing aid up and we are there

[and1inthetree]

they're too busy passing round the thermos and borrowing each others tartan blankets to put the ear trumpet in to listen to what's being yelled over the other side of the pitch.

[CraigDavid]

don't the flasks!!!

[Uncle Urchin]

ha ha ...I'll put that down as a double chomp then shall I..... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

 

anyway....it was you lot that outvoted the UU brass marching band if I recall....I think I'll get 'em back again....now they DID used to p iss the away bench orf........... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Uncle Urchin]

talking of flasks......some fcker has nicked me ferrarri satin finish model from the kitchen... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />