This is funny!!

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Taken from the Knowhere Guide to Canvey Island...

 

Canvey FC's ground looks like it was built by a child who lost interest halfway through and you can watch the game for free from see wall-It's not cheap to get in

 

Also...

 

* in-breeding, nosey bastards, gossip, paranoia

 

* I loved Canvey that's why I moved to Southern California

 

* Polluted estuary and scummy beaches with obscene graphiti on sea walls. In winter Canvey is freezing cold and feels like it's on the edge of the world.Also half the island is owned by Jeff King,which only increases the feeling of being cut off from the mainland.I only wonder why people come on holiday here.

 

* The whole island: especially trying to play football there during the winter. On little drop of rain, and the whole islnad literally turns into a shithole. I absolutely hate the Island. I am so glad that I don't have the unforunance of living there, although some of my friends do. How do they put up with it? I mean there is nothing of interest AT ALL. I'm in Southend and can't really speak for the whole population of the town, but, I mean it is far too bloody close, and drags Southend down with it. It deserves to be flooded. With its occupants still there. The accents! Save me! It's worse than the infamous Southned accent by far. And what a shithole Watersides is. And that bloody aerial at Castle Point for Essex FM (sorry for swearing) means that you can't get any other station when you drive past (well I can't, anyway). And that 60mph down to 30mph at the bottom of the hill. What's all that about?

 

* Plenty more where that came from!!

 

I'm off to look up Aylesbury now - this is a GREAT game!!

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Kings Holiday Park is a dump and should be demolished and should be replaced with a decent club

 

I liked this

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

From the St.Albans page:

 

St.Albans is near Hemel Hempstead which is good.

 

Hmmmmm!

[Colin Zeal EFM]

"The best thing about Aylesbury is just hanging on a Saturday afternoon. Me and my mate Trina just love going shopping for our saturday night outfits, and then going to Yates Wine Lodge for a couple of Alcopops before heading home for a bottle of Lambrusco and getting ready to go out. Friday nights are for the Lobster Pot followed by the Rectory - Saturday nights are for Big Hand Mo's, Weavers and then Merlins"

 

 

"Aldershot Town FC have a psycopathic hooligan element which the club does not seem to discourage to any great extent."

 

 

"Avoid Aldershot town centre on a Thursday. It's full of Squaddies. Thursday being the only night they're allowed in to Cheeks, the local nightspot. WARNING: It's not the squaddies you have to look out for. It's all the local knobheads who want a ruck with them. "

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

I am not mentioned in the St. Albans bit yet, I'll have to change that, I'm a local ledgend!

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

most of the bad things about St.Albans seems to stem from the fact it's near watford/hemel/hatfield/luton and that the people in places like the vintry are twats and the price of houses and bankers in porsches and McDonalds - basically what we all thought.....

[Colin Zeal EFM]

"As no one in Borehamwood has any money - it is full of cheap tastless shops"

 

 

"Hertswood School.It should be called The Borehamwood Training Centre For Future Criminals"

 

 

 

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

check out Purfleet, it won't take long

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Do we have any gripe with Purfleet?? I'm sure we must have but I don't remember.

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Not really, apart from them being a pub team from essex who always beat us these days!

 

It's the lack of stuff in Purfleet that's funny - basically get a bus to lakeside is the answer to everything

[Colin Zeal EFM]

I remember John Farmer gate-crashing a wedding reception in their hotel. I think Carl went psycho there one year as well.

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Carl's been psycho everywhere at some point!

[Colin Zeal EFM]

I seem to recall an incident in their toilets inside the ground (and no, not a George Michael-type incident, before you ask!!)

[SAINTS64MAD]

This stuff is pretty cool you know!

[Northern Monkey]

shitenage is full of facts that are crap and boring much like the football there.