FA Cup Prediction - Billericay!!

[Electric ~soul~]

My prediction for this year's suprise package, and a place in the third round proper, is our old friends at Billericay Town.

 

They've got lowly St Margaretsbury in a replay tonight (I think) which they will piss through, and I reckon they will go on and 'do a Yeading' this year.

 

We've had our differences in the past, but good luck to them!!

[YELLOW]

Yeah they should thrash that pub team. Should score at least 6 or 7 no problem. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Maldini66]

Billericay 2 St Margaretsbury 3 AET

Don't think so guy's

Apparently with only ten men aswell

[Electric ~soul~]

Blimey! That's a shocker!

 

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[YELLOW]

Crikey, what happened there? Edinburgh must go surely?

[Laz]

Maldini66 is obviously a troll!

 

I think the replay is tonight.

 

I reckon Ricky will win four or five nil.

[Electric ~soul~]

Yeah, Maldini must be on the wind-up.

 

There's no way Ricay would lose against crap St Margaretsbury!

[Laz]

Where is St Margaretsbury?

 

Are there any pubs there?

[gertcha EFM]

Are they in London Colney's league ?

[Electric ~soul~]

I think they may even be in the one below, Gertcha!

[gertcha EFM]

Bloody hell, what's that about St.Peters then ?

 

We beat St.Peters in a friendly, so maybe I should get one organised agains the Essex lot for next summer.

[Laz]

St Margeretsbury are in a league with...

 

AFC Hornchurch

Dog and Duck

Red Lion

Red Lion Reserves.

Billaricay Sports and Social Club

...

[Electric ~soul~]

Nah.

 

It's best to get a team of a reasonable level for a pre-season, mate.

 

Waste of time playing against a side that will just roll over.

[Maldini66]

Less of the troll business

Taken from the non league daily website

Last night's Replays

AFC Sudbury 2-1 Bedford Town (AET)

 

Ashford Town (Middx) 0-2 AFC Wimbledon

 

Billericay Town 2-3 St Margaretsbury (AET)

 

Billingham Town 2-3 Rossendale United (AET)

 

Boreham Wood 4-2 Bury Town

 

Christchurch 3-0 Gloucester City

 

Dulwich Hamlet 3-2 Abingdon United

 

Dunstable Town 0-1 Staines Town (AET)

 

Evesham United 0-1 Tiverton Town

 

Hemel Hempstead Town 4-1 Ipswich Wanderers

 

Herne Bay 2-6 Didcot Town

 

Malvern Town 1-0 Willenhall Town

 

Mangotsfield United 7-0 Bournemouth FC

 

Oldbury United 0-3 Oadby Town

 

Redbridge 2-1 Ruislip Manor

 

Rugby Town 2-3 AFC Telford United (AET)

 

Salisbury City 4-2 Clevedon Town

 

Tonbridge Angels 2-1 Hastings United

 

Wealdstone 3-0 Stanway Rovers

[Laz]

Are seriously expecting us to believe that?

[The Lyrical Tarantula]

I'vw only just woke up and I've got A*nieM in town, I told her that I had a dream that Billercay would lose tonight to St.Margetsbury and, despite knowing nothing about football, she said that was just too far fethched and threw a bucket of cold water over me.

 

How do we rid ourselves of this troll Maldini?

 

Anyone been over to the Billericay site to get tonights big cup replay team news.

Man U at home in the 3rd Round at the New Lodge I reckon.

[gertcha EFM]

Quote:

The Lyrical Tarantula said:
I'vw only just woke up and I've got A*nieM in town,

Thought you were single now <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

[Laz]

Thornsey, you not been over for a chat with your chums from Essex yet?

[Maldini66]

The Lyrical Tarantula said:

 

How do we rid ourselves of this troll Maldini?

 

Sorry daddy long legs i'm here for the duration

 

Thought you lot might appreciate this though?

 

VIZ TOP TIPS 2

 

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

 

Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black & Decker "Dustbuster." The zombies will then wander aimlessly and can be dispatched by the more usual methods at a more leisurely pace.

 

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.

 

X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously "erased."

 

A hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble dispenser at cocktail parties.

 

Make cheap but effective baby rattles by gluing a lollipop stick to an empty matchbox, then filling it with ten woodlice.

 

Foil pick pockets by placing a freshly toasted "Pop Tart" in each pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.

 

Confuse shopkeepers by buying a sheet of wrapping paper and asking them to wrap it.

 

A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal "car" for snakes.

 

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

 

Cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.

 

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate.

 

Cyclists. Next time you're out on your bike take a tin bath and about 4 or 5 gallons of water in plastic containers. In the event of a flat tire this will help you locate any punctures you may have.

 

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

 

Pop a few tea bags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap.

 

Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

 

Put a stop to car thieves by siphoning off all your petrol whenever you park your car, and carrying it round with you in one or two plastic buckets.

 

Pass off as Welsh by putting coal dust behind your fingernails and talking gibberish all the time, stopping occasionally to sing loudly, or set fire to someone else's house.

 

Record the sound of your wife having an orgasm, and then listen to the tape through headphones next time you make love. That way you can have sex without waking her up.

 

Fellas. Next time you have to wrap up a present, don't, because you're [****!!****] at it. Give it to the wife and she'll do it properly with extra girlie bows and fiddly bits while you're down the pub.

 

Girls. Next time you feel like throwing a ball over-arm, don't, because you cant and it just looks silly. Just throw it girlie under-arm style, and no-one will laugh at you, or get hurt.

 

Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piercing together potatoes.

 

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

 

Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

 

As adverts on the television tell us not to use light switches if we smell gas, I find it useful to always have a candle ready for use in such emergencies.

 

Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.

 

When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case a large, blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up the road.

 

Avoid paying tax by going to work in a politically unstable Middle East country inhabited by religious fanatics. Ignore British Government advice to leave when a war looks imminent, then moan a few weeks later when bombs start going off and there aren't any planes home.

 

Always keep a pound of lard in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide out.

 

Cyclists. Why not try stopping at red lights like everyone else, instead of riding up onto the pavement to avoid them. Stupid Bastards.

 

Avoid losing contact lenses by drilling a small hole in each one and attaching them with a length of nylon fishing line. This can then be worn around the neck.

 

Don't buy expensive "ribbed" condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

 

Exterior wood stain is a fast, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.

 

Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.

 

I regularly drive to the pub, but am never guilty of drink driving. The secret is to consume so much alcohol that by closing time you have completely forgotten ever owning a car.

 

Prevent crisps cutting your gums and getting caught between teeth by steeping them in a bowl of water before eating them.

 

Mix tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee.

 

Office workers. Avoid distractions from your important paperwork by making "blinkers" out of two Post-It note stickers, one stuck to each temple.

 

Internet users. Try "accessing" your local newsagents and "download" a few [****!!****] mags from the top shelf. They're cheaper than computers, and easier to smuggle into the toilet.

 

A next door neighbours car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.

 

Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.

 

Record the sound of your washing machine onto a tape, then confuse neighbours by playing it back on a battery operated cassette player during a powercut.

 

Next time you go drink driving ask a friend or relative to follow you on a moped carrying a camera. Then, if you crash, they can take the blame.

 

Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any that you catch in the act.

 

Play "Indiana Jones" with your pet mouse using a length of drainpipe and a cricket ball.

 

Always fart into the rings on top of your gas cooker. This will turn back the gas meter, and save you pounds over a period of time.

 

Play "Moth Aircraft Carriers" by floating a shoe box in the bath with a torch attached. Leave a window open for ten minutes, then turn off the room lights and watch as the moths attempt to make their dramatic and dangerous landings.

 

Car cigarette lighters make ideal mini "High Chaparral" style branding irons.

 

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

 

Terrify ants into believing they have been invaded by "War Of The Worlds" style Martians by standing 3 pin plugs on end around their holes.

 

Fool passers by into thinking you keep a bird of prey by walking down the street wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of raw meat in your hand and constantly looking up into the sky.

[Laz]

Sounds familiar