who has the best cleavage

[zody]

can someone explain why tits come in all shapes and sizes, different size and coloured nipples, but what ever happens, I LOVE TITS <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[ChrisSpennytown]

Hahaha zody we all do man...i dont know why they come in all shapes and sizes and colour but thats how god makes people n all living things

[ChrisSpennytown]

 

Sexy asian cheerleader <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[zody]

once saw a topless women with at least an inch long nipple, another time a nipple the full size of her tits.

[Big J R]

I like 'em, medical style !!!!!

 

 

 

 

Large enough so you can stick a n1pple in each ear, some-what like a stethoscope.

 

 

 

 

 

That way, you can hear yourself com--- !!!! (NURSE ???)

[zody]

Why do women have tits?

So men will talk to them.

[ChrisSpennytown]

Thats very strange...

[zody]

never mind

[zody]

A man came home from work, thinking no one else was home yet. As he hung up his hat and put down his briefcase, he heard loud moans coming from his oldest daughter's bedroom. Not quite sure what was going on, he crept stealthily up the stairs, tiptoed down the hallway and gently pushed open the door, to find his daughter lying flat on her back on her bed with her bra pushed over her breasts. Her knickers were around her ankles, her eyes were closed, her mouth was hanging slackly open and she was rubbing a Rabbit vibrator feverishly between her widespread thighs.

 

Shocked, he blurted out: "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Visibly shaken, but unable to stop so close to her orgasm, his daughter yelled at him to get out and shut the door.

 

Her father stumbled down the stairs in a daze and sat in the living room, appalled that his beautiful daughter would abuse herself in this manner. Ten minutes later, his daughter walked in dressed in only her bra and knickers and admonished her dad for not knocking before entering, and then said: "[****!!****] it, dad — I'm 25 years old, I don't have a boyfriend, I've never had a boyfriend, and I probably never will have a boyfriend. But I have needs, and I have to take care of them, you know?"

Her father said: "Listen — you just haven't had much luck with boyfriends. I'm sure you'll get one soon."

She replied: "No, Dad. It's not gonna happen. I'll never ever get married. That's all. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

 

A few weeks later, the daughter came home early one afternoon to find her father sitting on the living room couch, with a gin and tonic in one hand, and her Rabbit vibrator in his other hand, watching TV. "Dad!" she yelled out. "What the [****!!****] are you doing?"

 

Her father casually looked up over his shoulder at her and said: "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a drink with my new son-in-law."

[ChrisSpennytown]

hahahaha...that is really funny

[zody]

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'm, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

[ChrisSpennytown]

Hahahaha...thats pretty good as well

[zody]

1.How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights?

10 Little piggies,

2 Calves,

1 Ass,

1 Pussy,

1 Beaver,

An unknown number of hares,

And one dead fish no one can find.

 

2.What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?

A. Humpme Dumpme.

 

3.What is soft and warm when you go to bed , but hard and stiff when you wake up ?

A. Vomit

 

4.What do you get when you cross a nun with a PC?

A. A computer that will never go down on you.

 

5.How do you get a nun pregnant?

A. Dress her up as an alter boy.

 

6.What is the difference between Jurassic Park and IBM?

A. One is a theme park dominated by dinosaurs, the other is a Stephen Spielberg film.

 

7.What do you call two skunks having a 69?

A. Odour Eaters.

 

8.How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?

A. Phone her.

 

9.Why does an elephant have four feet?

A. Because six inches isn't long enough.

 

10.What's the worst thing about being a test-tube baby?

A. You know your dad's a [****!!****].

 

11.How do you make a dog drink?

A. Put it in a blender.

 

12.Why aren't blondes good cattle herder's?

A. Because they can't keep their calves together.

 

13.What do you call a smart blonde?

A. A golden retriever.

 

14.What did one lesbian frog say to the other?

A. We really do taste like chicken!

 

15.How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper?

A. The tongue's still in the envelope.

 

16.What's the definition of Trust?

A. Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.

 

17.Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coup?

A: If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.

 

18.What do you call a fish without an eye ?

A: Fsh.

 

19.Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

It's not very bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy

[ChrisSpennytown]

Mwwhahahaha...they are funny...i think one of them i know...

[zody]

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

 

She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

 

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance & see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

 

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

 

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:

 

1) you have to be single and

2) you must be Catholic."

 

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

 

The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley."

 

He does and the nun fullfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying his eyes out.

 

"My dear child, why are you crying?"

 

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

 

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

[morrisonsm]

Quality joke, but it is an old one.

 

http://www.scotiafootball.com/

[zody]

An essex girl goes into an Ann Summers shop and asks the assistant if she can have a look at an assortment of toys.

 

Despite a wide range of colours, shapes and sizes, none of them appeal.

 

She looks up and says to the assistant, "can i have a look at that tartan on up there on the shelf?"

 

No, replies the assistant, thats my thermos flask.

[ChrisSpennytown]

Thats pretty good...

[zody]

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[ChrisSpennytown]

OMG!!!! What a horrible thing to have on a stone about your friend...