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Any jokes for a boring Friday afternoon?

Zagreus

By Zagreus
in St. Albans City Forum

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Urchin Boy Newbie

Urchin Boy

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Zagreus said:
Another one that always make me smile is the old Tommy Cooper one:

Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.

Genius!!!


Someone Actually Complimented Me On Me Parking The Other Day, They Left A Message In The Windscreen Saying 'Parking Fine'.
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Big J R Newbie

Big J R

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Tommy's 'one-liners' were classics, and never rude.

 

Man goes to the Doctors. "Doc ! I feel like a pair of curtains !"

 

Doc:- "Pull yourself together !!"

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Zagreus Newbie

Zagreus

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A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as thick or stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

 

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

 

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

 

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

 

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

 

He notices that she is wearing a parka and a leather jacket at the same time.

 

He goes over and asks her if she is ok.

 

She replies yes. He asks what she is doing.

 

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

 

Then he asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.

 

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scroll down ;-)......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bit further......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS?!!!!"

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GHA EFM Newbie

GHA EFM

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

 

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

 

"I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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