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DOVER FC

JIMS MATE Mon Jun 20 19:27:52(isthmian forum)

 

newsflash...

 

in a sensational move announced today, dover chairman jim parmenter has pulled the club out of ryman division one and applied to join the kent league.

 

mr parmenter claims dover fans are so loyal that the lower their club falls in the league, the more they will turn out in support. by condeming the club to the kent league, he hopes to boost gate receipts to levels far above those expected for a season in the illustrious ryman division one.

 

mr parmenter says the club's ailing finances demand a continued downturn in fortune so diehard dover fans rally to the cause and turn up in their droves to support the team.

 

he said: "it makes sound business sense to get relegated every year because our fans are the best in the world and the more shambolic we become on the pitch, the more dover fans pay their 8 quid at the gate. but i felt that getting relegated last year wasn't enough. we needed to get relegated twice to really capitalise on the potential earnings from fan loyalty.

 

"we've already sold 134,546 season tickets for next season which confirms our status as one of the world's biggest clubs. i'm confident that playing kent league football next season will agitate the town's superiority complex even more and see us pack out crabble every week."

 

fans reacted to the news with jubilation. a spokesman for dover athletic supporters club praised mr parmenter for restoring the club's pride after years of ignominy in the conference.

 

he said: "for years in the conference we were a small fish in a big pond. but now we can hold our heads up high and be proud of the fact that we are indisputably the biggest team in the kent league. being in ryman 1 was pretty good, but there were some unknown quantities like lymington and new milton. what if they had been bigger than us? it would have been devastating.

 

"in the kent league we know we're definitely the biggest with the most loyal fans ever in the world ever. even though our attendances fall year-on-year, we've got loads more loyal fans than anyone else. our local derby with deal will see us outnumber their fans 2 to 1. mr parmenter is brilliant. we love him."

 

dover's acceptance into the kent league is far from a foregone conclusion, however. an insider at kent fa headquarters said league officials were retiscent to bend the rules and allow dover to play. he said: "everyone agrees that dover were so bad last season that in football terms they deserved to be relegated twice. but we were all really looking forward to seeing them flail around in ryman 1 for a seaon and we don't really want to miss out on that amusement. they'll be in the kent league next year of their own accord in any case."

 

A spokesman for mr parmenter refused to comment on reports suggesting athletic had made enquiries about starting the 2006/7 season in the Dover Girls Football Under 11s 5-a-side League.

[seasidesteve]

dover council have applied to compulsory purchase crabble and turn it into a funfair as they say as a centre for amusement it has never given people any entertainment at all dover chairman said this was a good move as the club will have the money to build their pitch on a p and o ferry because they can them play all their home matches in french waters so they can evade paying vat ontheir food sales.the only problem being french fishermen and farmers disrupting some fixtures