wildebeests in the ESL

[and1inthetree]

now i know not many people would approve of me singling out one single member of the animal kingdom, nor my method by using the ESL site to soapbox it up, but think if it happened to your club....

 

terrible thought, isn't it?

 

a herd of wildebeests would not only endanger the supporters and players (oh, and officials), but could also cause untold damage to playing surfaces, possibly leading to court actions by players injured from divots caused by herd of wildebeest on the rampage.

 

i urge you all to consider this and take action. let me know when you spot even a lone wildebeest, or gnu, as they are sometimes known.

 

by working together, we can ensure that the fa's stance on this is upheld...

 

NO GNUS IS GOOD GNUS

 

i thankyou.

[Keemo]

Treeboy, you must br very bored the fine day....lol

[Ian_W]

What do they eat - perhaps we could avoid puttng these in the centre circle?

[coupwotcoup]

Gnu potatoes!

[NotTheRealSteveWest]

Gnu idea mate?

[and1inthetree]

ian, this is a very interesting point you make and one of the reasons that football clubs could be at risk...

 

ok. here's our suspect.

 

 

this is the BLUE WILDEBEEST -Connochaetes taurinus

 

nasty looking bugger, ain't he? just think of the damage this creature could do to your fans, players, or more importantly, the pitch...

 

awful, isn't it?

 

i am reliably informed that the diet consists of SHORT GRASS

 

beware, take care.

 

no gnus is good gnus...

[NotTheRealSteveWest]

Oh dear, with this have an adverse effect on our gnu pitch?

[and1inthetree]

when will the FA release a document or training course on how to spot these scourges of the ESL?

 

literally tens are probably staking out our clubs AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

 

i think we should be told what they plan to do.

[coupwotcoup]

I think u are right.....We have to know how to act if say a tree falls on one's head at Stansted! Bet Chairman Zody ain't got the answer to that one in his little red book of limp wristed liberals and tree huggers.

[zody]

Coup, less off the Chairman, address me by Sir, thank you

[coupwotcoup]

The only person I would address as sir is a black drug dealer with a machine gun....

[zody]

ok then Jon then

[Kel]

Come on Zody, give us some FA examples of BEST PRACTICE for dealing with the Wildebeest situation! While you're at it, what do they suggest should be the procedure following the crash landing of a UFO on the pitch during a game? Would this be a notifiable incident and, if so, who should be notified? Remember, there is always a first time for everything.

[zody]

Kel, cant be arsed right now

[Uncle Urchin]

and can someone please explain to me what BEST PRACTICE has been achieved by banning the chopper from the stadium and what the BEST PRACTICE would be if I decided to ignore the ban,,, <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[theofficeboy]

Can someone enlighten me to the FA Best Practice for shooing off fat pigeons that are eating all the grass seed on the pitch. Are shotguns allowed for instance?

[Uncle Urchin]

and indeed what is BEST PRACTICE for dealing with drunken old despots found in the wine cellar with urchinettes...does this carry a points deduction and should it be reported to social services... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[coupwotcoup]

Name names then!

[theofficeboy]

Best Practice in the handbook for such things is to chain the gas bottles securely and ensure sturdy racking for the alcohol to ensure nothing topples onto the frolicking despot or more importantly Urchinette(s) or similar. (FA Beer Cellar frolicking rule 7a)

 

It was indeed on this point of rule breaking that previous Chief Executives have been relieved of their duties from Soho Square allegedly <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

 

(I use the word 'relieved' advisedly!)

[Uncle Urchin]

fck all that red tape....

 

just make sure the pipes across the ceiling are strong enough to take the fur lined handcuffs in future.... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />