The Dream Team Is Done

[Guest]

Matt Lovett (Goalkeeper, Staines Town)

Likes to dish out the stick, but can't take it back. Was quite happy to call the Slough fans all the names under the sun in their 4-0 home win, but was quick to disappear in the return leg which they lost.

 

Nevin Saroya (Defender, Yeading)

BFR's bitch basically. Good old Nevin and BFR are like the dream couple. No wonder Nevin's so long and thin, BFR must always be on top...

 

Scott Honeyball (Defender, Leyton FC) Captain

Scott is the perfect defender. Never at fault, it's always someone else failing to close down, make a tackle or block a shot. Scott is always in the right place at the right time despite being a fat git.

 

Jamie Jarvis (Defedner, Windsor & Eton)

Never has a player been more victimised than angel Jarvis. The blind referee's always appear to side against 'mild mannered' Jamie, who's always the victim.

 

Fergus 'Fergarse' Moore (Defender, Northwood)

A long time hero of the Slough fans, that pert behind which always seems to be on show in Slough matches is still around, although getting a bit of a sag about it now. Tone up Fergarse!

 

Mark Sophocleus (Midfield/Forward, Leyton FC)

Plucked from the obscurity of daddy's nutsack, Mark wouldn't look out of place in an Under 8's side subs bench, if he was lucky enough to make the squad. Excellent at giving out orders. Just don't get him to do anything, or Daddy will sack you.

 

Dudley Gardner (Hampton & R, midfield)

With age, eyesight fails. Yes Dudley, I'm sure you thought it was your bench. The fact your manager is a slaphead and ours has a lovely bloom of carrot shaded hair should have given it away. Shouldn't it?

 

Craig Lewington (Hampton & R, midfield)

God help this guy if he was a fish. He'd not be in the water for long. Bite, bite, bite with plenty of moaning in between. Perhaps Dudley thought he was celerating to this boy wonder on Thursday night.

 

Jermaine Beckford (Wealdstone, Forward)

Can't take a tackle without wanting to be the next Prince Naseem/Chris Eubnak/Nigel Benn. It's a mans game son...

 

Carl Griffiths (Heybridge S, Forward)

Dubious entry this one as Radders does fit the description big CG shouted out to him after getting beat in the Bryco Semi.

 

Luke Fontana (Hampton & R, Forward)

Lewington's bitch. Probably didn't spend enough time on his knees in front of Dev to get into the team for the Bryco Final, but given how easy he bites, looks like Devonshire got lucky. (Although we do know Dev's has been transplanted into the middle of his forehead.)

 

Manager: Steve Browne. (Thankfully unemployed)

Who will next take the Browne bullcrap interview discussion. We fell for it and now hate him. Boreham Wood fell for it, and now hate him. Dover Atheltic fell for it, and guess what, they hate him too. Who's the next mugs?

[BFR]

A fine collection of players there and a team that I would gladly pay good money to watch week in week out

[Don Juan DeMarcus]

A great team, but not sure Lovett can outclass DJZ or Martini

[Martin]

Total football.

 

I see that that Costas is advertising for a new manager with "Conference National or above experience" is it going to be a condition of the contract that Mark must play?

[Don Juan DeMarcus]

Maybe he can be a corner flag?

[Martin]

Yeah a corner flag that tells everyone what to do. Ideal role for him.