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Riot at Letchworth? Eh?

AFF

By AFF
in St. Albans City Forum

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AFF

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As I was queuing at the newsagents this morning for my copy of "War Games Monthly", I glanced at the back page of the St Albans Observer attracted by a photograph of 28 goal hero Lee Clarke holding the Herts Senior Cup, clearly taken following the presentation on Tuesday night.

 

The match report was inside the paper, and I didn't bother with that but I scanned the summary by their hack. 'Survival was the only priority.. blah, blah.. Lippie has added the Herts Senior cup.. blah, blah.. But then...

 

'Trouble flared between the two sets of fans...' "What?", I thought, "Oh no it didn't, mate. There was no trouble between the fans at all".

 

The piece continued: "Nine police cars and two riot vans had to be called". 'What?' I thought again, 'Nine cars is 18 police and 2 riot vans with 10 in each? That's 38 policepersons. I counted 7 in the ground in the second half'.

 

The next bit was 'best of all'. "The St Albans fans had to be held in the stadium until the Borehamwood fans had left". The reality, of course, is that the Herts F.A. announced that the bar would not be open after the game and the Woood morons bUggered off. At the same time, the word was given to the Saintsfans that the bar would open once the Woood bus had left so we waited for a few minutes, before having a quick one for the road.

 

Do you know what I thought next? Well I'll tell you. Grossly irresponsible reporting of the grossest kind. that's what. There was I expecting a gate of at least 2500 for the visit of Have and Have Not to Fortress Clarence Park on Saturday to celebrate Conference survival and the bringing home to the City of the Herts Senior Cup. Open top bus around the City Centre etc. Civic reception and all the trimmings. And now what? We'll be lucky if we get more than 50 with the good people of St Albans probably in fear of their lives.

 

Just because some local hack can submit an entry for the Nobel Prize for Literature. Literature? Fantasy more like. Where do they get this stuff, for Heaven's sake.

 

It's a good job that Gibbo was present on Tuesday. The last time a riot broke out was at Eastbourne and his 'sources' presented a slightly different picture to reality then, as I recall.

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AFF Newbie

AFF

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The biggest trouble-maker of all is the hack from the local rag, in my view Rob. And he wasn't there on Tuesday. If it puts even 50 people off [sic] coming to Clarence Park, that's worth £12,000 a year to the club. [i remember reading that statement and thinking 'what a load of rubbish', but I have now seen the light.]

 

In the ground on Tuesday evening, the leader of the Junior Branch appeared to have the situation comfortably under control.

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AFF Newbie

AFF

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Hi CZ.

 

No Tavs is the chap what writes the match reports and actually attends games. That piece was written by one of the full time desk jockeys. The nearest they get to a football match is when they watch Match of the Day at home on a Saturday night. They don't even know where Clarence Park is.

 

I'm wodering where he got that clap-trap from?

 

I have begun to calm down, CZ. The saving feature is that only me and Gibbo read the St Albans Observer so the estimated attendance of 2500 for Saturday may not be affected.

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AFF Newbie

AFF

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Hi Nos.

 

Eh? What? Do you mean that he was there? The red-hot favourite to win the 2005 Alistair Campbell Award for the most fanciful piece of journalism (Provincial Newspaper Category)?

 

No. He can't have been there. Not possible. "The St Albans fans had to be held in the stadium". I was one of them and I wasn't being 'held' anywhere, Nos.

 

Try this:

 

"A small group of young men, masquerading as Boreham Wood fans, several of whom appeared to be the worse for alchohol, were loud and raucous throughout the match. Peurile efforts to incite the St Albans City fans were ignored. The situation was comfortably controlled by the stewards. Police were in attendance but no arrests were made and no-one was ejected from the stadium."

 

Unlikely to win any awards, Nos, but fairly accurate.

 

I have a picture of the sub-editor, green plastic eye-shade thingy on his forehead, elasticated metal armbands on his shirt-sleeves, a pencil behind each ear, reading the first draft. "No lad", says the wily old super-scoop, "pep it up a bit. Hint at a major incident with several hundred casualties following running battles between two sets of fans and police reinforcements summoned from 3 counties. Mounted police having to charge the massed ranks of snarling, drug-crazed hooligans, ripping up the goal posts as improvised weaponry. Fire engines. Ambulances ferrying the injured to hospitals up to 200 miles away. Its been a quiet week."

 

"Right-oh Lou", says the cub reporter, "Leave it to me".

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Maldini66 Newbie

Maldini66

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What an overactive imagination you have AFF?

I was at the game and have to agree,where was this idiot reporter standing.I did'nt see any trouble apart from the two saints centre half's falling over each other for the wooood's goal <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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AFF

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Ciao Mancini, bella.

 

Yes it was a 'moment' when Ben Martin and Gary Elphick collided, wasn't it? Still. All's well that ends well.

 

Incidentally mia cara. In England, we use the apostrophe [the '] to indicate that a letter is missing from a word. [Well, we also use it to signify the possessive but don't worry about that for now. Next time.] Anyway, the apostrophe takes the place of the letter that has been omitted. The word 'didn't' has the apostrophe precisely in the place where the letter, in this case, the letter 'o', has been omitted. As you will recognise, Mancini, 'did'nt' isn't quite right. Close, though.

 

Ciao.

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EFM The Firm, The Voice Newbie

EFM The Firm, The Voice

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Just brought the St.Albans Observer when AFF wrote that bit about a 30yr old man etc I wasn't aware it was actaully written in the paper but f*ck me it is.

Bailed to appear at Stevenage Magistates Court, complete bulls*te, where did they get this from?

The 30yr old in question was arrested for about 3 different things while they searched for a charge and then, despite 15 hours in custody, was released without being interviewed or charged.

The 30yr old has no intention of being at the court on May 25th.

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