Dear Mr. Harris

[FleetFanatic]

Dear Mr. Harris,

having watch your inept performance in today's match I have come to the following conclusions;

 

i) your are not fit to supervise yourself across a road, let alone a football match.

 

ii) your basic knowledge of the game is second to 'none' - none is a another word for zero, so if you are 2nd to that then you really are not very good.

 

iii) you should realise that people do not go to football matches to watch your talent. Although you may wish to be the centre of attention, you do not have a fan club or anybody to impress (and believe me, nobody was impressed) and you certainly have no talent.

 

iv) Just because you were not good at playing football, you do not have to referee matches just to get on a football pitch - there are lots of parks up and down the country where you could join in a game of five a side with jumpers for goalposts - may I suggest you start with the under-nines age group and you may one day be good enough to participate at the under 14 level.

 

v) When bribed by one of the teams in a match you have been enlisted to officiate in, you really shouldn't make it so obvious - it is very easy to spot.

 

vi) When people shout swear words in your direction, they really are aimed at you - not at the fans behind you.

 

As a final note - perhaps you could learn a bit more about the rules of football before your next game - I would advise that you swot up on 'playing advantage' (you blow the whistle when the team that commited the foul gain possession, not when the team that were fouled still have the ball) and also 'yellow/red card offences' (when the attack goes in on the keeper with studs showing, just because the attacker rolls round on the floor couple of minutes afterwards pretending to be hurt, that doesn't mean that you forget the original offence).

 

I hope this information helps you to stop being a complete [****!!****] - but in the event that it doesn't, you could always do the right thing and give up being 'the man in black'. Perhaps knitting or stamp collecting would be more suitable hobbies for you?

 

Cheers,

Super Daz

[Guest]

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Super Daz:</font><hr />

Dear Mr. Harris,

 

v) When bribed by one of the teams in a match you have been enlisted to officiate in, you really shouldn't make it so obvious - it is very easy to spot.

 

 

<hr></blockquote>

 

If you really are so childish as to believe that, why not have the courage of your convictions and write to Mr Harris c/o The Conference and say it him directly? No? Thought not.

 

Grow up - he was incompetent, end of story.

 

[FleetFanatic]

Who says I haven't? <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/argue.gif" alt="" />

 

Besides - the above letter is tongue in cheek humour..... <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/biggrinangelA.gif" alt="" />

 

.....oops, silly me, I forgot that the conference boys don't have a sense of humour. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/upyours.gif" alt="" />