for the Abbey boys

[Southport - TOWNER]

How do you start an argument with a chav?

Speak!

 

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?

The burglar.

 

What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit.

 

What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted.

 

What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe.

 

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.

 

Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight

of stairs.

 

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

 

What do you say to a chav at work?

Can i have a big mac please?

[Nikki 50/50]

i liked:

 

why should you not run over a Chav on a motorbike?

 

 

 

it might be your bike

[AbbeyMan]

So the banter begins...

 

Some for you I found during my surfing...

 

Definition(s) of a townie Source : http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=townies&r=f

 

All friendly banter so just a selection...

 

Q.What do you call a townie waiting in a bus shelter?

A. At a party.

 

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?

A. Failed.

 

Q. What do you call a townie in a skatepark?

A. Lost.

 

Q. Why did the Townie stare at the carton of Orange Juice?

A. Because it had 'concentrate' on it.

 

Q. What did the little towny say to the bigger towny?

A. Can you get served?

 

Q. Why do townies constantly rev their engines?

A. So they don't cut out.

 

Q. What do you call a townie in a jar of honey?

A. Sweet!

 

Q. What do u say to a boy racer when he is circling?

A. Are you lost?

 

Q. What is a townies favourite ice cream?

A. Mint!

 

Q. What happens to a thought in a townies head?

A. It dies of loneliness.

 

Q. How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".

 

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?

A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.

 

Q. What do you call a townie in hell?

A. Wicked.

 

Q. WHat do you call a townie in a fridge?

A. Chillin'.

 

Two townies jump offf a bridge.....who wins?

We do.

 

Source : http://community.teentalkcentral.co.uk/lofiversion/index.php/t12958.html

[Gazza]

Havent laughed so much in ages.

TV so dull, Sky preparing for the death of the pope not exactly stimulating TV.

[AbbeyMan]

Quote:

Gazza said:
Havent laughed so much in ages.
TV so dull, Sky preparing for the death of the pope not exactly stimulating TV.

Check out the link... some were very below the belt - not at all suitable for a family site (and most of them had been submitted by kids! I must be getting old).

The urban dictionary is quite a laugh... at least I understand some of the things my daughter is talking about now!

[Southport - TOWNER]

What do you call chavs with a brain?

A crowd.

 

What do you say to a Chav?

Big Mac with fries please

 

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The accused

 

 

Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?

One can read and one can write!

 

What do you say to a chav in a suit?

Will the defendant please stand

 

 

What do you do if you run over a chav?

Reverse just to make sure

 

A bus full of Chavs were driving through ESSEX. As they were approaching Waltham Abbey they started arguing about the pronunciation of the village's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

[AbbeyMan]

Quote:

Southport - TOWNER said:
A bus full of Chavs were driving through ESSEX. As they were approaching Waltham Abbey they started arguing about the pronunciation of the village's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

Very good! So it's McD's and BK... going up in the world!

[Southport - TOWNER]

bet this is the reason Little Chef closed down, just to avoid the Chav's

[AbbeyMan]

Actually "Waltham Abbey" is a town... not a village.

[zody]

well corrected Abbey, being from the southern part of England we would know this

[Gazza]

Your "East" of us!

[Southport - TOWNER]

so am I !

[Nikki 50/50]

so am i!

 

 

i think.. my geography isnt brilliant...

[AbbeyMan]

Nah, not getting drawn into a geographical debate... was never one of my strongest points.

[zody]

what are you good at. MOANING like your dad

[Gazza]

Oh Zody you surprise me..... think Junior has got you, & now reeling you in!

[zody]

I was letting her think that way, thats my opinion, she may think it was a statement

[Lightweight]

Quote:

Gazza said:
Havent laughed so much in ages.
TV so dull, Sky preparing for the death of the pope not exactly stimulating TV.

You wouldn't say that if you had him in a sweepsteak. C'mon you bugger pop thoes clogs.

[Gazza]

You serious? Do you work the same place as me? I had friday AM!