100 advantages of womanhood

[vienna1964]

Sent to me by my (female) best friend !

 

 

1. We can get laid anytime we want.

2. We never have to buy our own drinks

at the bar.

3. We piss sitting down so its easier to

pass out on the toilet when you're

drunk.

4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.

5. We get out of speeding tickets by

showing a little cleavage or leg.

6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.

7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.

8. We can marry a rich man and then not have to

work.

9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.

10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all

we have to do is sleep with them.

11. Men light our cigarettes for us.

12. Men hold the door open for us.

13. We pout better. (Those puppy dog eyes always

work!)

14. We're cuter.

15. We lie better.

16. We're better manipulators.

17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we

fight with our other halves - you guys get

the couch.

18. We always have food in the fridge.

19. We don't worry about losing our hair.

20. We always get to choose the movie.

21. We don't have to mow the lawn.

22. We don't have to take out the garbage.

23. we don't have to paint the house or walls.

24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men.

25. Cosmopolitan.

26. We can con our way out of anything - not

just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.

27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a

real bonus when its cold.

28. PMS is a legal defense for murder.

29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first

time ya can walk all over em forever.

30. We can masturbate more in one day than men

can manage in a month.

31. 2 words - multiple orgasms.

32. We don't have to constantly adjust our

genitals.

33. Sweat is sexy on us.

34. We never run out of excuses.

35. You guys may get to think about sex 200

times a day, but we could be having it that

often.

36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the

Corrie at the same time.

37. We get expensive jewellery as gifts that we

NEVER have to give back.

38. We get candy, flowers and jewellery all the

time because men mess up so often.

39. We can give "the look" that will make any

man want to cower in the corner.

40. Women are cleaner.

41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in

case you guys didnt know).

42. We're better arguers.

43. We don't always have to think with our

genitals.

44. Massage!!!!

45. We're better parents.

46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend

night if we don't want to.

47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing

and able men.

48. We're flexible.

49. When women get pissed we don't destroy

property or hurt people - we just take it

out on the world in general because we can.

50. We do not lose our marbles if we view two

men "getting down and dirty" with each other.

51. Menstruation - just another excuse to use so

we can say "no" to sex.

52. When we kiss and fondle each other in front

of other people, it is considered beautiful.

53. There is no penis envy.

54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after

we masturbate because there's no messy clean-

up.

55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.

56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.

57. We often get to cut in line.

58. Most women actually look good in short

shorts - men DON'T.

59. Better tips.

60. Women who don't wear underwear are

considered sexy and wild, when men do it,

it's just disgusting.

61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't

embarass our friends or make loud bodily

noises in public.

62. Women can go a day without showering or

shaving and not look or smell disgusting -

thank god for long pants and perfume!

63. We can connive men into doing our homework,

writing our papers, or carrying our books

anytime we want.

64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.

65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.

66. Men will pay us for sex.

67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make

us sterile.

68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get

hit in return.

69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more

than one woman at a time, but we can have

sex with an entire football team at once if

we want.

70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest

to the road so that if a car hits us, he

gets hurt, not us.

71. Women sweat less.

72. Women smell better.

73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we

don't have to waste money on flowers or

cards - resumption of sex fixes all.

74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves,

rapists and cheats.

75. Women don't get the humor in Monty Python

sketches.

76. Women have three accessible holes.

77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons.

78. We're better gossips.

79. We have better fashion sense.

80. We're better shoppers.

81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves

to impress a man.

82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't

sleeping with anyone.

83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all

about (and I'm not gonna tell you).

84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know

it and use it to our extreme advantage.

85. We don't have to drive when on a date.

86. An ugly woman can use makeup, soft lighting

and get a new hairdo to become presentable -

ugly men are just [****!!****].

87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck

is from a curling iron burn" line.

88. Women know how fake it.

89. Women know how to make wobbly bits look dead

sexy when stark naked.

90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to

dancing.

91. When women are short, we're petite, when men

are short, they're just short.

92. Women do less time for violent crime.

93. Women don't have to worry about not being

able to get it up.

94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a

good time, any night.

95. Women's conversations generally consist of

more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye."

96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad

mood.

97. Women never have to see combat.

98. The remote control is not an extension of

ourselves.

99. Women are sexier.

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY

we want it!

[timo]

88 - why would you want to! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

[Moo]

75. Women don't get the humor in Monty Python

sketches.

 

 

Oh yes we do! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Big J R]

100. So can men !!!

[Martin]

But only when you pay...

[Big J R]

Who Me ? I think [color:"red"] NOT !! [color:"black"] <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/bow.gif" alt="" />

 

(Just had to check I'd used the correct emoticon. Didn't want to upset anyone !)

[vienna1964]

Izzat the one which gottaway BJR ?

[Big J R]

Hmmmmmm !! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/arcadefreak.gif" alt="" />

[American FLEET FAN No1]

Quote:

Big J R said:
Who Me ? I think [color:"red"] NOT !! [color:"black"] <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/bow.gif" alt="" />

(Just had to check I'd used the correct emoticon. Didn't want to upset anyone !)

<img src="/forum/images/graemlins/whistling.gif" alt="" />

[Big J R]

That's you in the sh1t, Les ! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/police.gif" alt="" />

[American FLEET FAN No1]

What's new? <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/shrug.gif" alt="" />