Orange Dick

[Electric ~soul~]

Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"

 

Man - "I've got an orange dick, doctor."

 

Doc - "What??"

 

Man - "My [****!!****] - it's turned orange."

 

Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up....It seems it could be a sign of stress, "do you suffer from stress?"

 

Man - "Not really"

 

Doc - "What about stress at work?"

 

Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"

 

Doc - "That sounds very stressful"

 

Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"

 

Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"

 

Man - "Well, my wife is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me down every chance she gets"

 

Doc - "That sounds stressful"

 

Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."

 

Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"

 

Man - "Social life? I don't really have time for one."

 

Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"

 

Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits"

[Laz]

Top joke, Geez!

 

Talking of social lives I assume you're not going to the rezzers tonight!

[Electric ~soul~]

You assume correctly!

 

Chicken Fajitas, salad and Beatles Anthology 8 for me tonight, occasionally flicking onto teletext to check whether those South London clowns have let me down in my bet.

[Electric ~soul~]

Seems Orange Dick has become this board's 6000th thread!

 

It's fairly typical of the other 5,999 really.

[Laz]

I was only considering going if you said: "Yeah! lets go and have a few soft drinks"

 

It'll be a sandwich and then a book for me tonight. Obviously, I'm reading the book, not eating it as part of the sandwich. I may nip down the offie and get some Whatsits too.

[CANV EFM]

im thinking of getting some kebab or curry type produce with lashings of 5 per cent beer

[Electric ~soul~]

I'm going to have to quit this board again - posts like that just make we wanna get straight back on it!

 

Fk me I could murder a curry and a few pints.

 

Maybe Friday.

[Laz]

I'm considering Phall for Friday. I haven't had one for yonks and need to know if I can still do it. Not sure about a few pints though.

[Big J R]

Great one Sun King !

 

I must admit, I had to read the last line TWICE before the proverbial penny dropped. MUST be getting old !

[color:"red"]

P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S ! [color:"black"]

 

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[YELLOW]

Seriously fancy a curry at the moment. Going to leave work early on Friday and do a few pints before the Aldershot game in Southend and then do a few more at the clubhouse.