the funniest thing you seen at a football match

[zody]

you tell me, mine was seeing streakers at the Dagenham and Redbridge v Doncaster play off's at the Stoke ground a couple of seasons ago, God they were ugly, but what a togger, [ flapping about in the wind], the poor policeman didnt know where to put his helmet, honest.

[Gazza]

Too many to mention in this league,

 

Cant remember the club but the physio ran on to tend to an injured player but forgot his bag.

 

The 2 most enjoyable & funny moments was the league cup final against Leyton, the Leyton number 7 (all 4 foot of him) was giving the Town fans all sorts of stick & hand signals as they led in the 93rd minute 1-0, oh the joy when we equalised in the 95th minute you cant imagine.

Also the 400+ Town fans as one,... after we won the penalty shootout,... began singing "where's your Chairman gone"

Long memory's us Town fans you see.

[zody]

Richard Harper the old Hornchurch and Dagenham & Redbridge phyiso, a very large man of 20+ stone always wearing shorts,snow, rain, sun, wind, but a great phyiso, but always had 'Who has eat all the pie's' sung to him every time he entered the pitch

[Lightweight]

When Torquay Kev Pi$$ed in the goalkeepers water bottle at Bury in the fa vase. The stunned silence before he drunk it. The laugh we had when he showed no visible sign of anything being wrong with his bottle

 

The smile being wiped of our faces when Steve Portway asked for a swig. All though we screamed at him not to. He did.If steve ever comes on this forum all I can say is prost!! <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/deadflies.gif" alt="" />

[Two Fat Feet]

Now you know why he's nearly blind.

[zody]

hope his breath doesnt smell either

[zody]

what goes through the mind of a streaker before they run on the pitch

[Mr Happy]

Funniest thing I've seen was when EFC played at Hayes in the Ryman Premier in '95. Fruitbat was standing in his usual position and the ball went out for a throw in. He leant over to pic the ball up and topalled over the barrier. The whole ground was in stitches. A short while later, Saint took the ball down the wing and scored a sensational goal so Fruitbat decided to celebrate by throwing himself over the barrier again! This time he cut his face!!!

[Two Fat Feet]

West Ham v Oxford, er ... 1988?

 

Dreadful game, midway though first half, play stops for something or other. Ball has rolled out to the touchline in front of the Chicken Run but nobody seems to be the least bit interested in going to get it, eventually a kid comes on to the pitch to kick it back to the players.

 

Shortly afterwards, the ball goes over the top of the goal into the crowd at the back of the South Bank. Rather than throw it back to the 'keeper, whoever had the ball throws it towards the touchline where the business had been a few minutes previously. Much hilarity ensues as same kid comes out of the crowd, dribbles the ball into the goalmouth and fires it into the net, to much cheering and applause. Kid milks it and waves at the crowd, goes back towards his place on the Chicken Run, and his mate comes out and celebrates on the pitch with him. Lads go back into crowd, game restarts.

 

Twenty rozzers come marching around from the Police room and nick them both.

[coupwotcoup]

Rozzers??? Have I entered a 50s time warp today? I remember when I had the players p!ssing themselves (okay Baldy, I am sure you know a few others!) at Kingstonian v Hailsham in the FA Cup circa 1989. Had met up with a couple of Hailsham lads I knew, and just after half time I wandered out and began started talking to the one copper in the ground. Suddenly the ball was cleared by a defender and it came straight towards me at an alarming rate of knots. My old goalkeeping instincts immediately kicked in and I leapt like a salmon (probably goldfish) and tipped the ball up and over the perimeter fence! Great save, but did feel a wally at the time. Much hilarity enused and I got a great round of applause from the players nearest the incident. It is always handy being with someone when those kind of incidents occur, just to deflect any embarrassment!

[Two Fat Feet]

When George Borg was manager of Barking, I remember him kicking a ball on to the pitch to replace one that had just gone over the stand into the athletics track. The pitch was a bit hard at Mayesbrook and that one bounced once and over the stand into the same place.

 

Didn't Graham Roberts do something similar at Sungate? This being seconds after complaining that there were no spare balls anywhere.

[Fruitbat]

Quote:

Mr Happy said:
Funniest thing I've seen was when EFC played at Hayes in the Ryman Premier in '95. A short while later, Saint took the ball down the wing and scored a sensational goal so Fruitbat decided to celebrate by throwing himself over the barrier again! This time he cut his face!!!

Almost correct. AS Saint scored that most magnificent of goals, remembering my previous accident, through a very drunken haze, I therefore ran back up the terraces, away from the fence, turned and ran back down again, meaning to land on my mates back. Unfortunately, he wisely sidestepped my advances, so I crashed into the barriers, backflipped upside down over it, and landed headfirst onto the dirttrack. Saint dropped by asked if I was OK, gave a Low-5 as I was still sprawled on the ground, and went on his way. I also won the raffle for a 6-pack of Fosters in the bar afterwards from sone stuck-up Bitch who didn't appreciate our singing.

[Southport - TOWNER]

Quote:

Gazza said:
Too many to mention in this league,

Cant remember the club but the physio ran on to tend to an injured player but forgot his bag.

It was APSA, he also had designed jacket and brown shoes!

[Sponsor of Beer]

Which was the side whose goalkeeper got most upset when, after a goalmouth melee, he found his 20 B&H trampled on? What was worse was that one of his defenders had taken a whack on the nose and there was claret everywhere. All the keeper could do was try and find his matches!

[MbrunoB]

Anyone remember the Fruitbat/beardsley chase at Southbury Road?

[TopGun]

Fruitbat parking beardsley ar*e first in a waste bin at hampton (middx cup semi).Fruitbat yelling He's too fat to fit in. Poor dave needed help to get his backside out.

[Gazza]

Quote:

Brunob said:
Anyone remember the Fruitbat/beardsley chase at Southbury Road?

Yes, pure Benny Hill, was at the school end as i remember, how many times did they go round the floodlight pylon before lapping the whole ground?

[MbrunoB]

Anyone know the match and date?

 

Fruitbat stalking him along the back of the stand to start it and the players watching during an injury break also stand out.

[Ponders Ender]

Think it was against ,Yeading matt edwards scored on that afternoon with a direct free kick.Beardsley was taking the piss out of everton losing and fruitbat took umbridge.

[Ponders Ender]

Also Darren webster. Fielding the ball from behind the Grays Athletic goal 3 seasons back.Instead of throwing the ball back to the keeper Darren Hoofed the ball down to the halfway line. The look on the grays keepers face was of sheer disbelief.