Whingers,passion and Loyalty...........

[UP FLEET]

There always is a lot written about the nature of support and supporters on this site, as there should be on any good fan forum.

 

Allegiance to sport teams is one area where loyalty reaches lofty heights. Men divorce their wives, abandon their children, quit their jobs, refuse to speak to their mothers and relinquish all sorts of other loyalties with far, far greater frequency than changing their sporting allegiances, which they hardly ever do. Overall, most men are probably more committed to their sport teams than their religion or even their country. What do you look for first in the morning papers – the soccer pages or how British forces are doing in Iraq?

 

This loyalty extends across virtually all sports but soccer seems especially addictive. Perhaps it’s the simplicity of the game, the flow of the play or the emotions that are thus generated, whatever it is, it lends itself to passion. This loyalty is a personal commitment that becomes part of you. The fleet are as important to me as my left lung or descending aorta. It’s part of how I define myself. No doubt, it’s how many of you think, too. You probably define many of your friends and acquaintances first and foremost not by such qualities as their character, integrity or intelligence but rather which team they support. (And of course which team they support speaks volumes about their character, integrity and intelligence!)

 

Maybe such thinking has its roots in tribal consciousness and other such sociological mumbo-jumbo – I won’t dwell on that particular ball too long here — suffice to say that team allegiance becomes an important part of your identity.

 

The problem then becomes that even though your team is an important part of who you are YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER IT. That’s a scary thought. You put yourself out there in the world very publicly as a fleet fan you have to trust, hope and pray that they perform well otherwise it’s going to hurt – a blow to your identity and flack from your mates, at the very least. A poor performance from your team is like erectile dysfunction – very frustrating and a crushing blow to your virility that strikes at the very heart (rather than points further south in your anatomy.)

 

So when people criticize the team, even if they’re whinging and moaning, maybe especially when they’re whinging and moaning, I don’t think they’re being fickle. The fickle fans are the ones that have left or have gone to support Arsenal or Chelsea, Charlton or Gillingham. No, the criticizers, moaners and complainers are very passionate and committed to their team. If they weren’t they wouldn’t be whinging or moaning. This is not about loyalty or commitment it’s about communication.

 

The problem with communication is that most of it isn’t very effective because people communicate to express their feelings rather than to influence a situation for the better. Booing your own team is like yelling at your wife. It might make you feel better in the short term but it’s almost certainly not going to improve your relationship or solve problems – in fact, it’s almost certain to make them worse.

 

Not that I’m under any illusions that human nature is going to change any time soon, but the fact is that booing your own team says more about your frustration tolerance and maturity than it does about the team’s performance. Yes, the game and the performance are important to you but jeering your own team simply doesn’t help. Express your views in private or even in public. However even when making public comments – like on this forum – remember that it’s not so much what you say but the way that you say it. You’re entitled to your view but not, I venture to suggest, to your abuse.

 

If a player aggravates you because, according to you, he gets caught out of position, tackles poorly, dwells on the ball too long, then by all means say so. But calling a player “[censored]” or some other indecent epithet is an insult, and moreover, invalidates any genuine criticism you have. And before you do that, imagine that you’re not having a very good day at work, in part because your colleagues aren’t being very helpful. Suddenly everyone around you starts jeering your every move and cursing at you. And you’re only in your early twenties. What impact would that have on your performance and attitude?

 

I don’t think that fleet fans are any more or less whinging or moaning than any other fans. It’s part of being a fan. Neither do I think, regrettably, that we can eliminate booing of the team, which people can do in anonymity from the crowd. The best we can do is to confront individuals when caught doing this and ask them whether they think it actually will help the team’s performance.

 

Confidence is a fragile thing and is the essential part of any success, especially in sport. So I’d rather not hear any more about fleet fans being particularly fickle or whingers – we’re almost all united in our passion and commitment to the club. What I’d rather see is constructive comment and the recognition that the vast majority of the players – perhaps all of them – are as passionate and as committed.

 

I found this and changed a few bits, but i thought it made good reading, hope you do to.

 

 

 

 

[Vera]

Very interesting article UPFLEET - Your spelling and grammar are very good. Didn't like you when you disagreed with me about the Robot (although we had a truce on that in the end), but I really enjoyed reading your above comments.

[UP FLEET]

Vera, as i said i found it and changed a few bits but i thought it was great, and in my opinion very true, but not everyone would agree, so i,m sure it will start up a good debate.

[David Holden]

That picture looks familar, does wb know you have it <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

 

 

Ah, just looked at the coding, and you were linked to the old address for the website which I started to dismantle last night. That's why the photo has disappeared.

[Harry J Allstars]

The bit about being pasionate and suporting your team interested me. When Chelsea lose it feels like a hole in my heart, when the Fleet lose, oh well it was to be expected. I hope this changes soon, and suspect it will next season when I stop going to see Chelsea altogether. I have said that I will still try and get tickets but having thought about it I'm going to try and give it one season without going to see how I get on.

 

I remember coming home from playing Aldershot and losing 3-1, I was gutted that night (look back over the threads if you want, I remember saying so). Perhaps this is the first time I felt like a fleet fan. When we drew with Accy I remember walking past Jimmy and saying never mind Chelsea won as if I was taking pride in hsi prolonged misery of not seeing the Fleet win. Sorry Jimmy I didn't mean it.

 

I'm trying to get the C****** feeling out of my head but this season is so important to me. If anyone has ever watched Fever Pitch you'll know what I mean, but my situation isn't like his at all. He loves Arsenal, I no longer really love C******. It's like an old flame that I can't stop going back to for the odd fling but its really the fleet that I love.

 

Did you think about me when you was writing about changes of allegiances? Gravesend Gill was explaining why he didn't like watching us play as a kid, he said "It felt like and old mans club and I wasn't made to feel welcome. Gillingham was seen as cool to go to as a lot of people my age were going there."

 

I have been made welcome by everyone at the fleet Jimmy, David, Jessica and the golden goal seller all always say hello and when we los 5-0 to the daggers even FF came up to say hello. All this taken into account and Stonebridge Road still doesn't seem like my real home (Stamford Bridge certainly doesn't).

 

People at work don't understand my/our way of thinking. Some bloke said the other day, "he has a season ticket at Chelsea nad instead goes to watch Gravesend." Yet if the it went the other way and I had been a life long supporter of the fleet only to abandon them for C****** that would be seen as acceptable. Thats madness as far as I can see. The reason Stonebridge Road doesn't really feel like home is because I haven't been going there long, but like I say Stamford Bridge doesn't either and thats why I stopped going.

 

You turn up and queue yes queue to get in the "megastore" despite having another one just round the corner. The ground is a colloseum and inside or out it feels like a prison. To many people thats what it is. To be seen wearing C****** merchendise is cool and hip, almost like its the smart thing to do, you want to see a team win every week there they are. The people that serve you when you buy something are never the same people, when you turn up at Gravesend however you always get the same friendly faces.

 

And now on to your original point about supporting your team and not screaming abuse at them, you think this doesn't happen at Chelsea? Tiago is useless and I tell him so every week, he can't kick streight, he can't tackle and he has no pace. Every Chelsea player has received abuse at every game they have played in through out their careers, meanwhile ever C****** fan has dished it out.

 

The satisfying thing about doing at Gravesend is because like I said earlier Gravesend are expected to lose, every wins a bonus. If you are expected to win on the other hand then you can live with the greta feeling that you stayed with the team through the hard times. Yeah you might have called the odd player a name but in order to do that you had to pay your £10 so you have contributed in some way at least. And I'd much rather a fan shout something at Andy Drury then see that fan go and watch C****** over watching Gravesend.

 

My spelling and grammer isn't as good as Upfleets as has before been discussed, but chin up at least I'm trying so give me constructive critism only please. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[Alan W (GNFC)]

We'll just have to draw C*****a in the FA Cup 3rd Round next season, Harry, and beat them !!

[jc]

Quote:

Harry J Allstars said:
The satisfying thing about doing at Gravesend is because like I said earlier Gravesend are expected to lose, every wins a bonus.

Thanks for that vote of confidence, Harry... <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[Guest]

Harry, I am as passionate about football as any other supporter, and Spurs being my team, tell’s you I have suffered as much heartache as you over years.

Back in the eighties was something else, but since then I have spent many a miserable day at work taking flack from all directions.

Going up to watch my beloved spurs was a journey that a group of us made home and away week in week out, but unfortunately life takes a turn, children marriage, cost, priorities, all these things happen to the best of us.

During the baron years, it was so hard, but now a new love has developed, and to my horror it has came in the form of red, this shock has grown and grown, until before I realised It, I was in love with the fleet.

Its strange now, as I have started to visit the hallowed white hart lane again, but this time round it has to fit in with what the fleet are doing, and even simple things like casting my eye over the news paper, I first look for the non league section, and any fleet news, then I look for the spurs news and results.

You made a point about having the right to shout abuse because you’ve paid to do so. In my opinion your right in respect of free speech etc, but I cannot understand how people believe this will help the team, especially on a stage as small as a non league ground, where the crowd can be heard so clearly by the players concerned, it surely cannot motivate them, but must affect them mentally, therefore affecting the players morale and confidence.

Everyone has there own opinions on this subject, and I am guilty of it when I go to spurs, but for some reason at the fleet I don’t do it, may be its because they are a local small team, and the players are not being paid film star wages, therefore you don’t expect them to be top quality week in week out. But one thing is for sure however we all react, we all love the fleet.

[UP FLEET]

Harry the above post was from me, ooops.........