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Haddow Update


GarySTFC

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A college student is doing a research paper on pirates. He goes to the docks one day and finds a drunkard swarthy pirate laying at the edge of a pier. After a brief explaination he asks " How did you lose your leg?"

The pirate responds "Yarrrr I was swimming in that thar sea and shark beet off my leg it did."

"Wow....well what happened to your hand? You have a hook on it."the student asks.

The old man replies " I was burring my treasarr and a croc beet off me hand ..left me with this hook it did."

"That's horrible!" says the student, "So what happened to your eye?"

Pirate replies with " A bird crapped in it."

Puzzled the student asks " You lost your eye because of bird crap!?"

 

The old pirate replies "Nar nar...twas me first day with me hook."

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A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

 

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

 

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

 

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

 

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

 

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a PIRATE SHIP in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a PIRATE off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

 

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

 

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!

 

See I made it fit pirate day with only 2 small amendments!

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