Dear Mr Hoddle

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Dear Mr Hoddle

 

 

I just thought I'd write to let you know why I chose A C Milan over your

club but first may I say how honoured I was when my agent told me a big North London club had come in for me. Clearly there was a misunderstanding as when I phoned Arsene Wenger he didn't have a clue what I was on about.

 

I must say I was tempted to join a club with your great traditions, after

all I have never won the Worthington Cup, particularly as I would have

enjoyed the challenge of playing with such talents as Taricco, Sherwood and Richards. I was almost poised to sign when someone told me Chris Armstrong had left your club and I realised I would not have had the opportunity of linking up with him.

 

Finally when my agent told me I would have the opportunity of playing under the guidance of a successful and esteemed former England coach I was flattered. That is until I realised who he was talking about when I again became confused as I don't think you are either successful or esteemed.

 

So because of my confusion I signed for A C Milan. I realise you will

probably see the San Siro as a poor substitute for White Hart Lane but I

have made my mind up for better or worse. I think it is unlikely we shall meet each other in a professional capacity for many years, if ever, so let me again thank you for your interest.

 

Yours sincerely

Rivaldo

P.S. My agent also represents Titi Camara and he has asked me to pass his name on to you as he may be seen as a more appropriate signing for a club with your stature and aspirations.

[ESG]

Spurs have made an audacious double swoop to strengthen their team by almost signing Ronaldo and Christian Vieri.

 

Boss Glenn Hoddle said "I think this will prove to everyone how ambitious we are and that we are the top club in Europe. This continues the good progress from when we almost signed Shevchenko last year and only last week we almost signed Rivaldo. If any of the top players in the world become available we can guarantee that we will almost sign them."

 

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson was quoted as saying " I just don't know how we can compete with Spurs. We signed Rio Ferdinand and straight

away Spurs respond by almost signing Rivaldo, Ronaldo and Vieri."

 

Arsene Wenger stated "Spurs are ruining the game with their monopoly on almost signing people. The rest of us just don't stand a chance. I would have loved to have almost signed these 3 players but we are just not in a position to compete."

 

Spanish giants Real Madrid commented that they were very worried that Spurs would start to unsettle some of their stars with the possibility of nearly signing for Spurs being hard to turn down.

 

Chairman Daniel Levy explained "This is the beginning of another golden era in the fortunes of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. We have made extensive funds available to the manager and have told him that that he can nearly sign any player he wishes."

 

The glory, glory days of Tottenham Hotspur are returning.

 

indeed they are