Student murdered?!

[Chubbhead EFM]

One of the students at my uni was killed near my flat the other night! Apparently he was in the third year, so I didn't know him but it's still very scary.

 

Apparently there was a fight and he fell off a building or something and died of his injuries. Police don't know if he fell or if he was pushed and it's all over the news up here. It was on my road as well!

[Laz]

This kind of thing happens down Alma Road all the time. Did you say you were going to the Horn soon?

[Chubbhead EFM]

yeah, friday! My friend's,dad's band are playing, along with the Dirty Feel, who are rocking!

 

I'm stressing though cos I've got an assingment in for tomorrow and i'm finding it difficult because I have a hangover. I have to write a 10 paragraph article on a story I've been given but I don't know how I should start it. It's worth 25% of my portfolio!

[Laz]

Easy: send the article to AFF who writes the City match reports. Get him to knock something up to the required length (he doesn't do much during the day); make it sound a little more positive; then send it off for marking.

 

During this time you can work on your hangover and get ready for your weekend.

[JKiF]

this person, were they scottish?

[Chubbhead EFM]

well, i've started it! tell me what you think:

 

The skeleton of a Royal Scots soldier found in Northern France last month has been identified as a local man from Armadale, West Lothian.

 

Private Archibald McMillan’s remains were discovered in a field in Northern France along with three other soldiers, all of whom died on the first day of the Battle of Arras, 1917. The discovery of the remains, along with a helmet, was made early last month, after a farmer had ploughed a new field

 

8 paragraphs to go!

[Chubbhead EFM]

jk- no, they were from Northern Ireland. 21 years old <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

[Laz]

Try writing the last paragraph next. Then do the middle bits. Work on the ending first!

[AFF]

Come on Chubbster. That one's a piece of cake. Your first paragraph is but a single sentence. The second just two.

 

Next para.: Officially listed missing in action. Or Presumed killed in action. Or One of the 100,000 graves marked with a simple cross engraved 'Here lies an unknown British soldier'.

 

Local records show trench line crossing thisa farmer's field. It can be assumed that Pte McMillan fell in one of the early advances on the German lines etc etc.

 

Family next. Start with widow if married, parents and fiance if not. Grandchildren etc.

 

Politics. War pension. etc.

 

Final para: What is to be done with the remains. Military burial with honours in france or back in Scotland.

 

What is the subject, by the way? Is it anthropology? The study of insects?

[SteveP]

How do they know this body is from Amadale West Lothian? Just a question.

[AFF]

DNA probably Steve. Or the remains of his kilt and sporran.

 

It's Anthropology I think.

[Laz]

The first paragraph looks okay to me. That's eactly the style used in news reports. They all seem to start with single sentence that describes the story.

[AFF]

No problemo Laz, but if I understand the point correctly, Chubbster is to get 25% of her marks for her degree from an eight paragraph 'piece'. Yes 'piece'. That doesn't qualify for it to be called an essayette let alone essay.

 

One wouldn't have obtained a pass mark in English in the 11 plus with an 8 paragraph piece Laz.

 

I've had an idea. Chubbster, could you put up three more of those towmorrow and I could PM my entry to you in order that I could obtain the degree by Friday?

 

Strewth!

[Laz]

Well it's like the A-Levels thing, turn up, write a few lines, and you've passed. There's been a few changes since you and I were students.

 

I get the feeling this may be 25% of a module rather than the year or the degree as a whole.

 

How about we get Chubster to put the whole text on here and we all have a go. She can pick the best one then.

[AFF]

If it is anthropology, Laz, she could explain the situation to her Lecturer and he/she could be invited to mark everybody who enters. An interesting sociological experiment in itself.

 

It would have to be a 'one-off' of course, so bang goes my degree by Friday idea.

 

Lecturers can't spend all their time marking 'pieces' as part of an experiment. They are very busy people. They have to spend a lot of time sitting aroud thinking.

[Laz]

I think that last word should have been "drinking".

 

It's interesting that Chubster, on her meagre student allowance, is suffering from a hangover at 3:20PM on a Wednesday or all days. If it was Zeal or myself you could understand it. What the hell is she like on a weekend.

[Chubbhead EFM]

oh dear oh dear.

 

Firstly, it's not 25% of my whole degree. It's 25% of ONE of the modules. It's gonna be part of my portfolio, which i then get assessed on as part of my print journalism module. So I do that and an exam at the end of the year, and that means I've passed the module for that year. This is the practical side of the degree but I do other modules, like IT and sources, Sociology, history of journalism and so on. I have to pass each of these modules to go onto the second year. Next year I'll do other modules like media law, shorthand and so on.

 

secondly, for the assignment I'm doing now (which I've finished! hooreay!) we were given a brief if you like. so, we're given the facts about the story but we have to turn it into a news piece. And here it is:

 

The skeleton of a Royal Scots soldier found in Northern France last month has been identified as a local man from Armadale, West Lothian, it was revealed today.

 

Archibald McMillan was identified as one of the four First World War soldiers, when a dog tag found amongst the remains was handed over to Colonel Dick Mason, the regimental secretary for the Royal Scots. He said earlier today: “The number linked to a name wrongly spelled as ‘MacMillian’ in the records of the Commonwealth War Graves Commission. But we contacted Mr Jack Alexander, an amateur historian here in Edinburgh.”

 

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soldier2

 

“Mr Alexander put us straight on the name of Private Archibald McMillan and we were able to trace his descendents who are still in the town of Armadale.”

 

The family of Private McMillan are due to attend a military funeral for the soldiers, taking place next week at the military cemetery in Ypres, Belgium. Mrs Helen Weir, McMillan’s granddaughter said: “We were completely gobsmacked when we were contacted by the Royal Scots to say that they had identified my grandfather. It’s all a bit too much to take in, particularly for my father who only really knew my grandfather from photos.”

 

Mr Archie McMillan, 90, says of his father: “I can just remember him coming home on leave and then going back to the war. That was all the memory I have of him.” Regarding the funeral next week, Mr McMillan said: “We never had a grave to visit. So, there’s nothing going to stop me now from attending his funeral next week. It will be the proudest and saddest day of my life.”

 

 

 

 

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soldier3

 

 

Private Archibald McMillan’s remains were discovered in Northern France along with three other unidentified soldiers, all of whom died on the first day of the Battle of Arras, 1917. The discovery of the remains, along with a helmet, was made when a farmer had ploughed a new field. The remains were examined and located by a team of archaeologists led by Dr Alain Jacques from the University of Lille.

 

ends

 

 

The word limit was 350 words. I think you should all have a go!I'll write the brief up here tomorrow evening when I get home, and it'll give you something to do on friday!or maybe I'll do it tonight!

 

by the way the 'ends' and the 'mores' are there because it's house style.

[Chubbhead EFM]

laz- I went to a club last night, 75p for vodka! That's why I'm still feeling a bit rough. That and I've not had much to eat.

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

If you keep putting all your coursework on here, we could all be qualifed journo's in 3 years

 

75p, y'say

[AFF]

Fair Chubbster. Fair. I preferred my framework.

 

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"ploughed a new field" is a little tame and unreal. A colonel wouldn't say to the press (he) "put us straight". I know its Scotland but take 'gobsmacked' out.

 

Get a Theosaurus, or if not, one of those books which gives alternate words with the same meaning.

 

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When do we move on to anthropology and the insect world?

 

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Oh, by the way. Sociologically speaking, do you think that there may be any subconscious significance in your naming of the fictitious Colonel?

 

Ends.