It was 10 years ago today.....................

[JKiF]

...........Bill Hicks died RIP

 

A small reminder of the mans genius, unashamedly ripped off from another message board

 

Did you know that if you play the New Kids On The Block record backwards, it actually sounds better.

 

How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt...'

 

See I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all of your records, tapes and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know all those musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal [***!!***]’ high on drugs, man.

 

You know all that money we spend on the military ever year - trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer, together, as one race.

 

What do atheists scream when they come?"

 

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a [***!!***]' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."

 

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is mearly energy condensed through a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather.

 

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then take all of your records,tapes and CD's and burn them.

 

My final point about alchohol, about drugs, about Pornography...What business is it of your's what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemna on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR [***!!***]’ BUSINESS Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my [***!!***]’ life. And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be here to pick me up and take me with 'em.

 

Obnoxious , self-righteous, whining little [****!!****]. My biggest fear is that if I quit smoking, I'll become one of you...Don't take that wrong. I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?.......Non-smokers die every day...Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurtling back to reality....You're dead too.

 

I generally love my job. You know what the great thing about being a comic is? I have no boss. That's a definate lifestyle plus isnt it?..Aren't bosses something?.....They're like gnats at a picnic man....Get the [***!!***] out of here buddy, it's just a job, doesn't mean a thing. I smoked a joint this morning, you're lucky I showed...My bed was like a womb man...

 

Think of me as Chomsky with dick jokes.

 

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?

 

When Jesus comes back to earth the last thing he wants to see is a cross.

 

The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride... And we... kill those people.

 

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, "It's gonna be worth it!"

 

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy you know? But at the same time, I tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now. Ready? Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and in dumpsters? Leave about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court. This is over. Like that. "You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...[***!!***]' RAISE 'EM." "Raise 'em then, you [****!!****] [***!!***]' raise 'em. YOU raise 'em. You said I had to have it? Then it's yours. ****. It's yours..Take it"

[GHA EFM]

Legend.

[JKiF]

 

hav u purchased his new book?

 

good feature on him in the latest Jack Magazine..

[EFM's Librarian]

Is the book any good?

 

Any chance of finding the text of 'your children are not special' or 'pick up the gun'?

 

 

[EFM's Librarian]

Found it, but a large part of the genius of his comedy is his delivery;

 

"I'm so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the [***!!***] arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries then we go and blow the [***!!***] out of em. We're like the bullies of the world, you know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane... Throwing the pistol at the sheep herder's feet:

 

 

 

"Pick it up."

 

"I don't wanna pick it up mister, you'll shoot me."

 

"Pick up the gun".

 

"Mister, I don't want no trouble huh. I just came down town here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about 10 rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble mister."

 

"Pick up the gun."

 

Boom bom

 

"You all saw him. He had a gun."

 

 

[YB941 5thD EFM ~soul~]

Quote:

hav u purchased his new book?

Can't be that new.

[JKiF]

out this week <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[YB941 5thD EFM ~soul~]

And he died ten years ago?

 

Have the publishers hand-written every copy, or something??

 

 

[JKiF]

 

 

it wasa trap... <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />