A cat.........

[AFF]

.......shows no affection whatsoever, no co-operation, does the opposite of what it is required to do.

 

Just like..................

 

 

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............a computer.

[JKiF]

u need a new mouse then

[Laz]

PC problems, AFF?

 

[Claire!]

I'm getting a new computer!!!! Only been in this job for a week, and they're getting me a brand new pc, with a 15" flat screen!!!!!

 

It's kind of a thank you, as i've managed to collect over £5000 of outstanding retentions and it's only day 5 in my new job!!!!!

[JKiF]

a kind of thank you?

 

wouldnt you rather have the bunce in your pay packet?

 

 

 

[YB941 5thD EFM ~soul~]

Something makes me think they may have been getting one anyway, Claire.

 

 

[AFF]

Hi Laz.

 

....doing an E-mail in/on hotmail. Couple of hundred words. Want to indent a bit. Press the button with two arrows going in opposite directions to the left hand side of the 'Q'. What happens? Don't try this at home, children. The whole thing disappears, that's what.

 

.....Using hotmail, I want to print a copy of the E-mail what I have wrote on.....wait for it....however archaic.....paper. Press the iconoclast thing at the top that bears a vague resemblance to a printer and what happens? It prints a copy of the screen with the opening paragraphs of the E-mail in the sub-screen or whatever it's called. How helpful is that?

So. Feeling inquisitive, I press the 'Help' button. A paper clip [yes, a paper clip] appears and asks me what I want. It gives me a menu. I have to type in 'printing'. What happens? A response appears: "None of that in 'ere Guv." Don't rely on paper clips is the only moral to be drawn from that story.

 

Don't start me off on cats.

[Claire!]

I would have liked to have the money, but hey, if i manage to get all the outstanding retentions in then i may get a fantastic cash bonus!!! Something to work towards!!

[Rob_the_Saint]

Claire, I know I shouldn't ask but what's a retention? Are you some kind of debt collector?

[JKiF]

will they b doing a xmas party for the staff?

[YB941 5thD EFM ~soul~]

I thought you worked for a Kitchen Blinds company??

 

 

[Laz]

AFF,

 

That arrow thing is the TAB key. Please note that when you have the focus on anything other than your text, it will move you to the next button or control on the software.

 

As for indenting with it, it's a little unreliable as it can appear as a different width on other computers.

 

I don't suppose you know, but it you are sending emails in RTF or HTML format, you can indent your text without using your TAB key.

 

I'm happy to show you sometime seeing as you've invited me into the boardroom for a beer on Saturday. (Never did get that letter.)

 

And, it sounds like you are using MS Outlook.

Mr Clip is the office assistant who allegedly can help you. Type in what you want to do (I think you have to right click him) and type in your question.

 

Usually, he says: "Don't understand the question" or gives you unrelated answers!

 

I usually turn him off which you can do with a right click too.

[Claire!]

Quote:

Rob the Saint said:
Claire, I know I shouldn't ask but what's a retention? Are you some kind of debt collector?

OK, I'm a contracts co-Ordinator now, so part of my job is to collect outstanding retentions from sub-contracts. Basically, the company I work for makes and fits blinds, the following building we have fitted blinds for are: Canary Warf, The Natwest building, London Underground building, government offices, the BBC offices, etc,

Anyway, part of the legal contract is that they don't have to pay, say 2.5% or 5% of the outstanding balance (depending what's in their contract) until a year after the blinds have been fitted. Basically, these construction companies are a nightmare to get money out of, so I keep ringing them, to get the money from them!

[Claire!]

Quote:

Zealster EFM 10k said:
I thought you worked for a Kitchen Blinds company??

LOL!!!! No not a kitchen blinds company!!!! We do make blinds, but top quality blinds!!!!

[YB941 5thD EFM ~soul~]

My kitchen blind IS top quality, thanks!!

 

 

[Laz]

Can we start a forum to discuss blinds, please?

[Claire!]

LOL!!!!!!

[SteveP]

I get a special bonus because my company just got bought by JP Morgan, whoever they are (apparently they're quite big). I am hoping they're richer and more generous than the previous owners. I won't want to go into the intrigue of what my company does, more to the point it's not exactly that glamourous or interesting.

 

I also hate cats, pets, animals you can't eat and animals you can eat that are alive. I am also proud of not making the 'how do you make a venetian blind?' gag.

[CANV EFM]

jp morgan are fking vast steveP keep yr head down.. get into the trading arm then we can do lunch..

claire.. ask em to put you on a percentage of all outstandings that are more than 3 months due.. i suggest 15 per cent..

i hate cats

[Laz]

I like cats but can't eat a whole one.