Fantasy mismatches: past and present.

[mala_D]

Bertie Vogts vs Gary Kaspirov

[American FLEET FAN No1]

Mahatma Ghandi v Ian Paisley

[The Invisible Man]

Real Madrid v Enfield (at football)

Henry VIII v Elizabeth II (at anything)

Jaws from James Bond v The Man in the Iron Mask (at apple bobbing)

Robin Hood v Uncle Urchin (at wealth redistribution)

Bryan Sewell v Oliver Reed (at etiquette)

Voltaire v Frank Bruno (at reading and writing)

Charlotte Church v Christina Aguilera (you can fill this in)

Ann Widdicombe v Rachel Hunter (at modelling)

Ann Widdicombe v Michael Douglas (at sha gging)

A squid v a cheetah (at 100m sprint)

Horatio Nelson v the goddess Kali (at bricklaying)

Long John Silver v Linford Christie (at running up escalators)

Hornchurch v the kingdom of heaven (at welcoming strangers)

Renaissance Florence v Southend (at culture)

St Albans v Ghandi (at humility)

An Amish Community v Southport Towner (at working on Sundays)

A Jewish Community v the Tottenham scoreboard operator (at working on Saturdays)

Peter Andre v Gareth Gates (at sha gging Jordan)

Peter Andre v almost everyone (as above)