The Mayor Of Simpleton Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Who posted this on Football Finder: I am a seven foot goalkeeper who had trials with Manchester United and Bath City as a toddler aged only three years old. I chose to play for semi pro side Raynes Park Vale as their sandwiches were nice. Although I am now 36, I can still run 100 metres in 9.9 seconds despite losing a foot in the Falklands. I am also a qualified first aider. Francis Benali once described me as the best goalkeeper he'd ever met in a brothel. I have played international football for Ethiopa, and we won the World Cup in 1986. I am looking for a professional club with excellent parking facilities. Hilarious! Just what I needed after a morning out helping a mate who'd been flooded out. Take a bow son! Are the sandwiches at Raynes Park Vale that good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smudge Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Heard through a Friend,that the said person has had to put his phone on answer phone,due to the deluge of Calls.I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH,HE ONCE STARRED FOR THE FANS FOCUS X1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark-Tommo Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 That's amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubby Brown Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Going by the gash that comes out of this Football Finder nonsense I reckon this lad could probably get a game for them, he'd certainly fit in well with the rest of the team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mayor Of Simpleton Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 I'm surprised that Real Madrid haven't signed him up! Anyway, shameful plug for them - they're playing against a French Academy side next week. Venue and kick-off time TBC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubby Brown Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 So they've arranged a game for next week but don't currently have a ground to play at???!! Where would they usually play their 'home' games then?? Doesn't sound very professional to me, especially as the other team is coming from another country!! Are there supposed to be scouts watching these type of games?? Not really any use when there's no venue or kick off time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllStar Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 I know this forum is about options but chubby slating everything Adam does is simply boring now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mayor Of Simpleton Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 It's okay - to be honest I've come across worse sorts than Chubby. At least he's only a keyboard warrior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubby Brown Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Surely that was just a set of questions about football finder, can't see how that was slating anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncs Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 No Chubby is right and why is there such a sight if these lads are any good then just give them the nearest directions to their local clubs the only way to get to see if they are any good is by watching them play,I must say all of these skills like catching the ball in thier underpants and passing a ball through their ears is absolute bollix a fecking seal can do all of that and you don't see many of them in the CCL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mayor Of Simpleton Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 I agree with most of that, Duncs. The problem is that a few of the players using the system are lazy or ignorant (and their Chairman has been the first to acknowledge that) and act like mongs when told to go and train with a club. When I last spoke with him, he said it was akin to guiding some of them as if they were on Knightmare (side step left, go up the street, that big building with floodlights outside - yep that's it!) I will defend those players, however, who have gone to clubs and sent their CV's off to clubs only to not get a response or get told 'sorry we're not interested'. This happened to me on many occasions and I know how difficult it is to get back playing once you've left a club. If you aren't picked up quickly, it can be an uphill challenge. If you don't know people in the game, and have no connections,it can seem like an impossible task. At least clubs like Leatherhead and Tonbridge have said 'Okay, show us what you've got and if they're any good we'll take them on.' There shouldn't be a need for the site, in an ideal world, but sometimes players need a helping hand and so if it helps them it's not a bad thing. Too many players are dumped on the scrap-heap as it is, and I'm sure that Abdul Razak was grateful for his chance after being released by Crystal Palace. Battersea FC spotted his ad, gave him a chance, and now he's at Manchester City. As shown by Rhys Jordan's recent move, dreams can come true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex EL_Gaffer Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 No Chubby is right and why is there such a sight if these lads are any good then just give them the nearest directions to their local clubs the only way to get to see if they are any good is by watching them play,I must say all of these skills like catching the ball in thier underpants and passing a ball through their ears is absolute bollix a fecking seal can do all of that and you don't see many of them in the CCL Hahaha proper laughed at that!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rother Posted December 1, 2012 Share Posted December 1, 2012 Like duncs himself you mean? No balls, no brains. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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