DISASTER IN BASILDON!

[Mr Happy]

Please see the following news story taken direct from the BBC website:

 

Earthquake rocks Essex

 

 

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Wednesday 23rd July 2003.

Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fackin ell" and "whatta cant" The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

 

Essex FM News (State Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

 

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

 

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

 

 

 

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP

 

 

 

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, £2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, £5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon. **Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret - 'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - 'ROMFORD' said the girl 'woss that got to do with it?'

 

 

[Mean It Mick]

Fu*k me i read that funny story bout 2 years ago on email.

 

 

[Mr Happy]

MIM, I'd rather not f*ck you if you don't mind.

[Southport - TOWNER]

yeah but still amusing

[Mean It Mick]

Mr Happy although i am def no ginger it would probably be the first you would have had you nob jockey!

 

Think how much you could have bought though with the £150,000 you lost!

[Mr Happy]

Think how far in life you could go if you onaly had a brain. Maybe you need to journey to see the Wizard of Oz!

[martin10001]

is that all you can ever go on about mean in p rick the money yes its gone but we will have and have always had a better team than any team you have or will ever play in so shut the [***!!***] up and piss off back to your little hole and i dont see you carrying on about DRUGS at your beloved basildon why is that then??????????

[Mean It Mick]

Better team than anyone else????????

 

Is that why Basildon gave you a 4-1 hiding in your sh1thole of a ground????

[Mr Happy]

Mick, the ground is improving, the team and squad has improved dramatically and you are retired. now sod off you twat.

[martin10001]

well said i could not have put it better

[martin10001]

were you playing??? read the comment [****!!****] i said any team you were in

[SOS]

The game at Brimsdown was a long time ago MIM. See you at the far post on 15th November. The Town will turn Basildon over.

 

Our ground is not a [***!!***]. At least our club hasn't been searched for drugs.

[martin10001]

you wont see mim they dont need crap players like him

[Mr Happy]

He'll be there, having a coke with his pals followed by a mushroom pizza in the bar. He's not that well off so he'll probably spliff it with his mates. I bet he'll be keeping an eye out for the Enfield score. I understand he's got a soft spot for the 'E's.

[martin10001]

ha ha i like it

[Mean It Mick]

No no, i am back in the training this week.

[The Invisible Man]

For Basildon, I presume? When do you reckon you will you be available for selection again?

[Mean It Mick]

Not sure, i hit the gym last night and was blowing out of my @rse.

 

Having not played all year gonna take some time to get my fitness up but im hoping to be back playing fully after Xmas.

 

gonna pay some lower level stuff to get some match practice first.

[Southport - TOWNER]

Quote:

Mean It Mick said:
............
gonna pay some lower level stuff to get some match practice first.

erm, now the first person to mention a team that have no home, no chairman, 35 supporters gets their legs slapped! <img src="/images/graemlins/bounce.gif" alt="" />

[The Invisible Man]

Thanks Mick, good luck, and hope to see you playing before long!