Whyteleafe v Guernsey (13/10/2012)

[HKP]

3-2 now, last few mins.

[bomaya]

Whyteleafe get another. Og after good run and cross. 2-3

[HKP]

Finished Whyteleafe 2 Guernsey 3

[bomaya]

Parked the 4x4 in the longest but thinnest car park in non league football then sauntered down the hill with Belgian Derek and his husband in tow. Used the secret entrance to avoid paying the scandalous £6 admission and pinched a poorly written programme from a sleeping OAP.

 

Arrived hoping to see a thumping and for the first twenty minutes it looked like one was on as first Heaume then Allen poked home easy chances within two minutes of each other. The Bet Lynch Appreciation Society noted that the ground appeared infested with wasps this day, no doubt attracted by the slimy unwashed dugouts rather than by style of football of the home side. Any chance to hoof the ball up the air to the big bloke upfront seemed to be the team talk, maybe wise considering the pitch was hardly conducive to pretty passing football. One exception was the tricky Whyteleafe number 11 who at least had the skill to weave past players, swear at linesman and do two great Gareth Bale dives to win free kicks.

 

Guernsey clearly took things easy after the two early goals when their play suggested far more. It wasn't until the 40th minute when Ross Allen decided he'd had enough so he collected the ball, turned two defenders inside out before slotting home with his right peg. HT: 0-3 to the Donkeys.

 

Belgian Derek's husband suggested we get a burger or a pint but as I pointed out the bar was a fair old walk from the far side of the ground and I'm a lazy kent. Secondly the tea bar was up some rickety concrete steps which must be illegal in these modern times. There was already a long snaking queue round toward the back of the manky, broken-seat filled old stand. You'd think they'd be more organised on the day they were likely to get their only crowd of more than 40. Instead we sauntered round the ground avoiding the sudden showers and admiring a dilapidated old Micra that appeared stuck in a corner with ivy growing out of its boot. No SORN notice was spotted. The words derelict old wreck sprung to mind when thinking of Whyteleafe.

 

Second half and clearly the home side had had a rocket up their jacksies as it appeared they actually wanted to try and attack for a change. But not in a good way. They pulled two goals back, one a tap-in for Palmer after Tardif dropped a shot which he shouldn't have. If I was cynical I'd say he'd visited Bet Victor on his iPhone before the game. The second looked like an og from a whizzed in cross after good work by Palmer again. This bloke should have started the first half quipped Jenny Peasinapod behind me. In between these goals Guernsey hit the bar with a header and Allen had two one on ones that he uncharacteristically missed. (Victor Chandler, got to be). Anyway, it ended 2-3 so all's well that ends well.

 

Afterwards, decided against the bar just in case there were any exuberant working class people in there. We looked online for a local CAMRA-recommended public house that accepted effete accountants who like Badminton and saw that just five miles hence was The Sneer and Sandwich. We had half a mild each and smiled approvingly at each other's dry witticisms. The evening ended on a downer though when after bursting into a third chorus of "It's So Effing Easy to Mock Others", the landlord told us to bugger off.

 

Leigh Phar-Me

Edited October 13, 2012 by bomaya

[Guernsey local]

Good write up bomaya, I enjoyed reading that!

[padlock]

Parked the 4x4 in the longest but thinnest car park in non league football then sauntered down the hill with Belgian Derek and his husband in tow. Used the secret entrance to avoid paying the scandalous £6 admission and pinched a poorly written programme from a sleeping OAP.

 

Arrived hoping to see a thumping and for the first twenty minutes it looked like one was on as first Heaume then Allen poked home easy chances within two minutes of each other. The Bet Lynch Appreciation Society noted that the ground appeared infested with wasps this day, no doubt attracted by the slimy unwashed dugouts rather than by style of football of the home side. Any chance to hoof the ball up the air to the big bloke upfront seemed to be the team talk, maybe wise considering the pitch was hardly conducive to pretty passing football. One exception was the tricky Whyteleafe number 11 who at least had the skill to weave past players, swear at linesman and do two great Gareth Bale dives to win free kicks.

 

Guernsey clearly took things easy after the two early goals when their play suggested far more. It wasn't until the 40th minute when Ross Allen decided he'd had enough so he collected the ball, turned two defenders inside out before slotting home with his right peg. HT: 0-3 to the Donkeys.

 

Belgian Derek's husband suggested we get a burger or a pint but as I pointed out the bar was a fair old walk from the far side of the ground and I'm a lazy kent. Secondly the tea bar was up some rickety concrete steps which must be illegal in these modern times. There was already a long snaking queue round toward the back of the manky, broken-seat filled old stand. You'd think they'd be more organised on the day they were likely to get their only crowd of more than 40. Instead we sauntered round the ground avoiding the sudden showers and admiring a dilapidated old Micra that appeared stuck in a corner with ivy growing out of its boot. No SORN notice was spotted. The words derelict old wreck sprung to mind when thinking of Whyteleafe.

 

Second half and clearly the home side had had a rocket up their jacksies as it appeared they actually wanted to try and attack for a change. But not in a good way. They pulled two goals back, one a tap-in for Palmer after Tardif dropped a shot which he shouldn't have. If I was cynical I'd say he'd visited Bet Victor on his iPhone before the game. The second looked like an og from a whizzed in cross after good work by Palmer again. This bloke should have started the first half quipped Jenny Peasinapod behind me. In between these goals Guernsey hit the bar with a header and Allen had two one on ones that he uncharacteristically missed. (Victor Chandler, got to be). Anyway, it ended 2-3 so all's well that ends well.

 

Afterwards, decided against the bar just in case there were any exuberant working class people in there. We looked online for a local CAMRA-recommended public house that accepted effete accountants who like Badminton and saw that just five miles hence was The Sneer and Sandwich. We had half a mild each and smiled approvingly at each other's dry witticisms. The evening ended on a downer though when after bursting into a third chorus of "It's So Effing Easy to Mock Others", the landlord told us to bugger off.

 

Leigh Phar-Me

 

Chuckle.

[Lee Farmie]

Ah bless. Must have taken him ages to write all that. All that effort.

[maisiecat]

great day out and good to chat to so many people!