NON LEAGUE BIG BROTHER HOUSE

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

FOLLOWING THE SUCESS OF CELEBRATY BIG BROTHER - CHANNEL 4 ARE PROUD TO PRESENT NON-LEAGUE BIG BROTHER, 8 HAS BEENS OR NEVER BEENS OR CAT D CELEBS ALL LOBBED INTO A CARAVAN IN BENFLEET AND LOCKED AWAY FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD (EVEN THE ON-SITE ENTERTAINMENT). EVERY WEEK YOU GET TO VOTE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE OUT TO RE-JOIN THE CELEBRATY COMPOST HEAP!<p>

THAT BLOKE WHO PLAYED LUTENENT HARRIS IN THE POLICE ACADEMY FILMS, ALSO STARRED IN.....ER....POLICE ACADEMY 2 .... AND 3<p>

HAIRY UN-POPULAR EX-TALIBAN LEADER MULLAH OMAR<p>

TED ROGERS - WHO'S FAVORITE BUS IS THE WATFORD - LUTON SERVICE - THE 321 OF COURSE<p>

LETS GO CLUBBING..... IT'S SEAL!<p>

BUSTY RASTA RUSTY LEE - ON - SEA<p>

BOUNCER<p>

ONE OF THEM BLOKES FROM TALENTLESS MOB DEPECHE MODE<p>

FAT RICH BLOKE RUNS BUTLINS FOR THE UN-EDUCATED AND A PUB TEAM FROM ESSEX.<p>DAY 2

Rusty Lee has baked a whole load of pies, someone's ate them all, all eyes are on Jeff King, Harris starts to interrogate the essex man. Why don't someone just ask Channel 4 I mean they are not short on CCTV around here!<p>DAY 3

First bit of tension Martin Gore is taking the rise out of Seal "You can't get a kiss from a rose, you Muppet" exclaims the Mode man.<p>DAY 4

Bouncer wins the first Big Brother Challenge winning £75 extra to the food budget - Hope everyone like Winalot!. The bookies are forced to pay out as the challenge won was a general knowledge quiz, bouncer was 50/1 outsider.<p>DAY 5

People are getting fed up with Ted Rodgers not lifting his finger round the house - they leave the following cryptic clue on his bed - Earlier on we sang relight my fire, fire meaning hot, hot is a place associated with the place you're going, but re-light suggests some form of manual lighting, so its not the dream holiday in Greece, it's a manual relighting of Daves Landfill and refuge burning inc. in Basildon, you've won Dusty Bin - put the rubbish out Ted you lazy git!<p>DAY 6

Bush has spotted Omar but he can't get past the Channel 4 security. In an attempt to fit in Omar has started wearing a N.Y. Yankees hat. Also in a vain attempt to try and fir in Omar has been spotted wearing a YSL jumper, you know then one's with YSL written in big letters over the front but with a subtle diffrence a couple of letters have been changed, it reads OBL. Who or what is he on about!<p>DAY 7

It's come to light during a game of truth or dare that Seal has an unpopular blood group - Tension!