St Albans - 50th worst place in the country??

[Colin Zeal EFM]

I knew there was a reason I didn't read the Mirror.

 

On what grounds could we possibly be the 50th worst town in the country? I'd say we were probably in the Top 5 best places in the country.

 

And how come we're in the Top 50 worst, yet there's no sign of Hemel, Hatfield or Stevenage??

 

 

[Colin Zeal EFM]

A BOOK published this weekend lists Britain's 50 "crappiest" towns.

 

It has shot into the top 200 list on the pre-order list of internet booksellers Amazon. And top - or bottom - of the pile is Hull. The pocket guide, Crap Towns, was compiled by The Idler magazine, who asked readers to nominate the worst place to live in Britain.

 

They were inundated with hundreds of people anxious to dump on their home town. But each of the top 50 was also given the chance to defend itself.

 

Hull is damned by one commentator as "home of the biggest council estate in the world" but credited for friendliness: "You can speak to people at the bus stop without being thought of as a nutter."

 

Among those listed are some of Britain's most upmarket areas such as Hampshire beauty spot Arlesford: "Great if you're under three and over 53, s**t if you're anywhere in between."

 

HULL

THE silent threat of violence along with the smell of the chocolate factory hangs in the air, according to the book.

A local describes Hull as a prosperous maritime town destroyed by German bombs in the 40s, and then by architects in the 60s and 70s.

 

CUMBERNAULD

THE book says "town-planning students visit Cumbernauld as an example of what not to do".

A former resident adds: "When Asda opened I found myself going there as there was nothing else to do. You know it's bad when Asda is a local night spot."

 

MORECAMBE

THE Lancashire town is third on the list: "Why would anyone go there unless they are attracted to misery and squalor?"

Of its drug problem, a resident adds: "You are now more likely to find needles on the prom rather than lollipop sticks."

 

HYTHE

NOT good for Hythe with the book saying: "There are swathes of old men and women patrolling the streets, bored out of their wits."

A local man adds: "The sort of town where incest rules to such an extent that men give themselves Father's Day cards."

 

WINCHESTER

ALTHOUGH Winchester has one of the world's finest collections of 15th century graffiti scattered round the cloisters of its college, the book says, "the town's undoubted beauty is scarred by the broken beer bottle violence of its Friday nights...and soured by priggish complacency".

 

LIVERPOOL

LIVERPOOL is the butt of "countless bad jokes about moustaches, tracksuits, accents and thieving".

A resident adds: "Liverpool has more Georgian architecture than anywhere in the UK except Bath but it is ruined by graffiti on the sexual antics of an ubiquitous couple."

 

ST ANDREWS

"THE home of Scotland's oldest university, a lovely beach, international standard golf courses and thousands of nauseating toffs," says the book.

Residents complain of parents who queue up to deposit "vile offspring" three times a year.

 

BEXHILL-ON-SEA

THE book says the town is populated by people who have nothing left to do but die and "it smells of ammonia and cats".

One resident says: "It is a town waiting to die with no one prepared to do the decent thing and put a pillow over its head."

 

BASINGSTOKE

"BASINGSTOKE was a small, inoffensive market town until 1961 when it was chosen for London overspill."

One visitor describes a drive through the town: "M3, car park, car park, roundabout, car park, roundabout, car park, tart, roundabout, M3."

 

HACKNEY

"IT'S cheap, near Central London, has some great parks and pubs. Hackney would be a great place to live - if living there wasn't so dangerous," says the book.

One local doctor adds that the hospital A&E wards are "worse for gunshot wounds than Soweto".

 

REST OF THE WORST 50

11 Portsmouth

12 Stockport

13 Crouch End

14 St John's Wood

15 Croydon

16 Islington

17 London

18 Peterborough

19 Wolverhampton

20 Didcot

21 Ascot

22 Brighton

23 Aldeburgh

24 Leiston

25 Ipswich

26 Hayling Island

27 Horsham

28 Mirfield

29 Tintern

30 Peterhead

31 Oxford

32 Dover

33 Sth Woodham Ferrers

34 Newport

35 Billingham

36 Reading

37 Maghull

38 Huntingdon

39 Hastings

40 Keighley

41 Dagenham

42 Slough

43 Alresford

44 Bridgwater

45 Yate

46 Skelmersdale

47 Barrow-in Furness

48 Widnes

49 Hinchley Wood

50 St Albans

 

 

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Luton? Watford? Gravesend??

 

Surely St Albans is at number 50, as a kind of 'ironic' entry.

 

 

[ESG]

HACKNEY

"IT'S cheap, near Central London, has some great parks and pubs. Hackney would be a great place to live - if living there wasn't so dangerous," says the book.

One local doctor adds that the hospital A&E wards are "worse for gunshot wounds than Soweto".

...not far wrong

 

 

mmmm the Idler readership approx 12 people and a pipe

 

[Laz]

These people are just jealous of our town. We can all list at least 10 sh*t-holes in Hertfordshire alone.

[Stu B]

Quote:

Colin Zeal EFM said:
Luton? Watford? Gravesend??

Surely St Albans is at number 50, as a kind of 'ironic' entry.

See,i told you Gravesend was a good plac with plenty of claims to fame <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Think on, Fb.

 

 

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

We'll have to get hold of the book when it's published, apparently its got loads of pre-orders on amazon

[Laz]

Someone told me that a poll, in the Times I think, said St Albans was the most popular place where people wanted to move to.

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Here is the reason

 

St.Albans Head

 

It's St.Albans Head which is down Devon way somewhere, look at it, it's horrible <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> . It didn't specify which St.Albans did it <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

[Laz]

You can see that from Telford Court unless you've over done it in the Crack house.

[EFM's Librarian]

They had the bloke who wrote the book on the radio this morning. The worrying thing is that you could only vote for a place if you had lived there (not sure how they verified it) so it wasn't just an attack by jealous Lutonians. I'd be interested to see how they came up with the final list. It can't just have been number of votes, otherwise London would obviously have been top, perhaps someone came up with an amusing reason for St Albans?

[Colin Zeal EFM]

Problem is, a lot of students and kids who live here mock St Albans, cos they're too young to appreciate or understand it. I was the same when I was young.

 

Now, I realise this is the best town/city in England, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

 

 

[Batman]

I wouldn't worry too much. It's all subjective. When St Albans was first nominated last summer I met the guy from The Idler and showed him round our glorious city and took him out on the lash. He wrote a piece on the website which was fairly complimentary in the end. Not sure how they decided which towns made it on to the list. It was either numbers of votes or the Idler only visited the 50 towns listed. Probably the latter. Anyway visit www.theidler.com to see my defence for St Albans!

[Batman]

Forget that previous link, try this one!

 

www.craptowns.com/html/frontsection/craptowns/30_5/england.htm