Hooto's Autumn TV Schedule

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Laughing At Freaks

A brand new reality TV show hits the screens in October. A group of Hoxton's finest laugh at a parade of freaks whilst consuming a five course set meal in a 'sushi' restaurant. The freak with the best 'trick' wins a place at the table to be humiliated by sneering fashion designers. If the freak sits it out without resorting to violence, he or she wins 10 large.

 

Brass No Go!

Testosterone charged 18-30 types are forced to sit on their hands as high-class Venezuelan prostitutes gyrate in front of them. In this 'anything goes [***!!***]-fest' the winner is the last one to get aroused. Tantalising and titillating , once again Channel 4 has its finger on the button.

 

Fry 'Em!

You the audience are judge and jury. A real life true story crime is re-enacted, the evidence is presented, then you decide; 'To Fry and Die,' or 'Live and Cry!' Like Cluedo but better. Medieval executions available for the more heinous crime. Just wait and see how sadistic the general public can be!

 

Colonisation; 'Just Like The Old Days'

A group of Jesus freaks are parachuted into the Amazonian rain forest, their mission' to find indigenous people and introduce them to God. The winner is the person who brings the most converts to 'Missionary HQ.' Contestants are armed with a Bible and a gun, and a smattering of smallpox and syphilis. Just watch them ratings soar!

 

Bouncer Quiz

 

Your starter for 10!

Hoodwinked door-staff think they are attending a re-run of the independent film masterpiece, 'Shadow-boxing whilst waiting for punters.' Instead they are forced into quiz teams and subjected to public humiliation in the form a quiz by a spotty Poindexter type nerd.

 

Fat Neck vs Puff Daddy

Con-man king, Fat Neck from Salford bunks on Puff Daddy's yacht and tries it on with one of P. Diddy's 'bitches.' Watch him get done in live by Puff's entourage. This is no Wimbledon walk-over, Formula One fix or OT prank. This is real violence guaranteed. Guess the time fat Neck lasts with a big, bad, mad gold chained round his neck.

 

Dwarfs Kicking Themselves In The Head

Watch the little people kick themselves in the head, and/or lift massive African-Americans above their heads. Perfect family entertainment. Wow!

 

Keeping It Mad!

Serious and respected politicians and personalities are invited to a chat show. All of a sudden top-less lap dancers invade the set and rub their breasts in their faces. Watch those politicos squirm! First episode's guests; Tony Benn, Gerry Adams and 'Stakeknife.'

 

Burn The House Down

A mob of tattooed mothers hunt down paediatricians on a 'sink' mistake. The first mother to find the quack's house and petrol bomb it is the winner. Reality TV!

 

Shop a Para

Anyone seen Mad Dog's missus?

A group a Bolton residents are given a set of clues to hunt down rogue elements of Johnny 'Mad Dog' Adair's crew in deepest Lancashire ie inbreds with dyed blond hair, ear-rings and tatts. Once they locate the 'Shankill' in Bolton they march up and down dancing 'Morris' stylee, banging massive drums. The idea of the game is to provoke the exiles into setting their pit bulls onto the contestants. Live TV with a difference.

 

Burberry Watch

Residents of Brum go on a Faliraki style pub crawl dressed head to foot in Burberry. In each drinking establishment they have to convince a complete stranger to take an item of clothing from them. Binge-drinking, moaning and casual sex is encouraged but the real idea of the game is voyeurism/Burberyism. The winner is the first contestant left only in Burberry y-fronts or knickers.

 

Stag & Hen Revenge

A mixed group of residents from Dublin, Prague, Amsterdam and Barcelona go on a pub crawl in the Heart of Middle England. Dressed in mad fancy-dress type gear, they proceed to drink insatiably, insult the locals, spew up and urinate over municipal flower beds. There is absolutely no point to this binge-fest, simply revenge for years of atrocities in their cities. Episode one sees a group of Falirakians dressed in Greek national costume invading Weston-Super-Mare, driving the wrong way on go-cart tracks, heckling bingo callers, insulting candy floss sellers and disrupting karaoke nights. A prime-time ratings winner!

 

 

[CANV EFM]

the last one is quality..!