Roadkill Top 3

[ESG]

1. Badger - B41456 this morning. Skull crushed slightly but otherwise huge beast intact. A fine example.

 

2. Anon bloke - Hammersmith Tube. Messy. A three blanket-er.

 

3. Cat - crushed flat by a huge bale of paper in Maybanks Paper Mill and discovered years later. Posthumously awarded the Iron Cross after it achieved the longest recorded horizontal cat flight, a full 40 yards from loading bay to pulper.

 

 

[CANV EFM]

3 blanket-er.. ugh messy i knew a fireman who once who attended a leaper incident on the mainline to southend.. i think they get over 70 mph and it was rated above the blanket measure .. he had to use the rarely implemented 'bucket' index..

 

anyway

 

4.Caravan- 4 berther on the A 30.. spun the towing car through 180 degrees and ended up still attached to the car upside down with the roof nicely stoved in wedged into the central the crash barrier

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Outside my window here at Willesden Junction, sometime in 2001 I think. Man in front of tube train, view of top end of body only (removed from 2nd half)

[ESG]

 

I like Hunter S Thompson's theory on why rabbits always wait until the last minute before bolting across the road. It's an adrenalin thing. They're bored, all they do is eat lettuce and [***!!***]. The adrenalin rush of trying to get 2 the other side.....

[CANV EFM]

i suppose after a couple of years of doing foxes n dogs for pace they just assume they are the fastest things on the planet.. a certain amount of complancency creeps in and they try to take on 2 tons of v6 3 litre twin turbo action without doing the proper research..

[Laz]

Surely a hare is faster than a rabbit.

[CANV EFM]

sure but a rabbit would never find that out in the normal course of events.. the chances of a hare and a rabbit being chased at the same time and going in the same direction are minimal.. and even if it did happen only one rabbit out of the millions in the country would know and it couldnt tell any other rabbits due to their poor conversational skills.. but i will concede that maybe a few rabbits know hares are faster.. perhaps they cant handle this fact and throw themselves under cars?

[CANV EFM]

also the rabbits that know eagles are faster than them are all unfortunatly dead

[Laz]

I ran over a barn owl once. Beat that!

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

My mate ran over a raindeer once - True Story!

Well more ran into it, I think it wrote the car off.

[Tom S]

When he was managing Yeovil Graham Roberts was still living in the Enfield area. On his way to training one night he hit a deer and ended up in a ditch where he was found, shortly afterwards, by Paul Turner.

 

Didn't do Robbo's car much good either.