wmd-a cabbies tale

[ESG]

"Weapons of mass destruction, more like weapons of mass distraction eh? Get it? I thought that one myself! [******]' clever innit? I had that Hans Blix in the back of here once. Smashing fellar but blind as a [******] bat he was. I don't know why they thought that [******] could find nuclear weapons in Iraq because he couldn't even his way from Victoria Street to The Moat House. So I took him on the scenic route up Hatfield Road to Hemel and back - he was made up to pay £30 for the EFM Tour experience.

 

I feel sorry for that scientist fellar who topped himself but have you seen the state of his missus? No wonder he was so keen to get back to Iraq. There's more to this caper than they're letting on I reckon. Remember that whitewash thingy that Clinton was involved in? Someone got plugged who knew too much about Hilary's secret stash. I reckon that Jack Straw's got something to do with it. He looks a proper sneaky little twat him. At least it took the smile off Tony Blair's face after that speech to the yanks. [******]! As for his missus, I knew her when she worked on the spud van in Fleetville. Always tried to overcharge you for five pounds of King Eddys.

 

Did you see that nobhead run on the track at Silverstone? At least he livened it up a bit but I'd have run the [******] over. That Formula One's a load of [****!!****] innit? Posh kids with dolly birds, not that I'm jealous like. Most taxi drivers are better jockeys than that firm. How many of that bunch can get down St peters street to CP on match day in under five minutes eh?

 

Did you see the Open? A fellar I know who does the greens at Batchwood told me to put a koala on that Ben Curtis so I'm quids in at 300-1 lad. Might take the lads over to the Dam to celebrate. That Summer [******] Pops was a wash out. One of me mates who's a big time tout bought 12 Deep Purple briefs for a nicker each and he couldn't give the [****!!****] away. I heard that James Brown was staying at my mate's B&B in Marshalswick but he's a lying [******] because I had in the back of me cab and dropped off at the Somali Centre.

 

That Jeffrey Archer's out isn't he? Our kid's still in Feltham and he got sent down three years before that Tory [******]. OK, it was for armed robbery but there's no sniff of parole for our Billy is there? One law for the [******] rich isn't it? The twat'll make a [******] million on his prison diary won't he and he's got that Mary one to come out to an all. Our Billy's missus [******] him off her the fruit and veg fellar three months after he got stuck down. Typical!