Hatchet Job's A Good Un - Jools Holland

[ESG]

How did it come to this? How did the broadcasting of music in the country with the world's most sophisticated popular culture end up in such a pitiful state that the former keyboardist of a third rate new wave band became the host of the best music programme on TV? As Later With Jools Holland - and that "With Jools Holland" is so very important to the BBC branding team - returns for yet another series, perhaps it's time we sat back and pondered upon how this Buddha of Blokedom, this Mohammed of Mateyness, this boogie woogie brother in blue jeans and a fetching M&S blazer became the most important figure in TV music.

 

Later With Jools Holland is the musical equivalent of those smug, ever-so-pleased-with -themselves music magazines for those too old to care what the NME have to say anymore but still too young-at-heart, still all consumed with popular culture to bid farewell to the music of their past, present and future. It's Uncut, Q and Mojo all rolled into one - middle-aged but not ashamed of it, open to new and exciting musical forms yet appreciative of world music too. Happy to wallow in the classic pop of the past, yet not too respectful that it dare not question old orthodoxies.

 

Later is like one of those bizarre jam sessions Frank Zappa used to organise with Malian percussionists and The Dubliners all adding to the eclectic yet common language of global music. Each programme begins with an earnest circle-jerk jam where the likes of say, The Coral, Johnny Cash, Mos Def, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and some [****!!****] playing a bagpipe all tug at their muso dicks in a revolting orgy of self-congratulation.

 

At the centre of all this earnest craftsmanship, the ringmaster himself, accompanying the [****!!****]athon on his trusted joanna. Yes, Jools's big top is designed to celebrate him and his wilfully coffee table tastes more than anything else. He's at the centre of it all, conducting all around him with that trademark no-neck adenoidal delivery of his, introducing the acts with a music hall flourish, interviewing "star" guests with a mixture of blatant sycophancy and simple [****!!****]-licking, making sure we're all aware that several of his C-list Talkback mafia chums have popped in to the studio to nod appreciatively as middle-aged accountants in the audience attempt to dance to a Cutty Ranks dancehall smash.

 

Jools you see has made a career out of his supposed laid-back charm. As the presenter of the much over-praised and highly conservative Tube he escaped the obscurity of being that fellar on the organ out of Squeeze and became a nationally recognised "TV personality" in his own right. Jools cleverly carved out a Last Of The English Eccentrics type role for himself and how both Channel 4 and the BBC loved it, indulging his every whim, sending him over to Louisiana to interview countless old blues pianists who nobody but Jools and his worthy white-boy media chums gave a [******] about. He was on a roll, travelling the world, gormlessly worming his own brand of sterile big band boogie into the proceedings wherever he could. The Jools Holland Rhythm & Blues Orchestra may have made Glen Miller sound like Penguin Café Orchestra but that didn't matter to the TV big-wigs. Jools gave good demographic.

 

Later With or Without Jools Holland will always be a [****!!****] music programme. Just like Jeremy Beadle who believed that viewers of You've Been Framed tuned in to watch him and not simply to see some 18 month old baby crack their head open falling off a swing, so Jools believes that his presence is central to the entire ethos of the programme. Some may indeed tune in just to watch Jools in action, whatever the line-up. These people are mad. Most of us switch on because in a terrestrial TV desert with few musical wells, Later slakes our thirst but still leaves a nasty after-taste. Is this all there is? It was bad enough that former Tarzanogram and DLT wannabe Chris Evans became some kind of musical kingmaker in the glory days of his Radio 1, TGI Friday ubiquity. But whereas Evans didn't have a musical bone in his body, Jools at least sincerely loves music for its own sake as well as a means of furthering his own career and improving his sex life.

 

Later is nice, safe, cosy and complacent broadcasting for nice, safe, cosy and complacent broadcasters and viewers alike. It is a victory for the middle-aged groovers who think they know what's best and have ghettoised anything remotely innovative or exciting to the early morning graveyard. It's either Sarah "The Coxmeister" Cox and her moronic brand of celebby, soapy, woo-hoo Wunnerful Radio 1 "Born Sloppy" slop or Jools and the rest of the 6digital backslapping brigade. It's enough to make you get Sky.

 

 

[CANV EFM]

heheh .. i listened to radio one and sarah cox for the first time fo rages a while back.. i think my mate had it on in his car.. fk me what a load of crap.. im no prude but i couldnt believe that langauge can be used on radio.. the presenting was just generally [****!!****] and the attempted hip youth culture style was laughable ..

bring back terry wogan!

[EFM The Firm, The Voice]

Or just wait for Sniffer Thorns!