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KINKY JERRY!!

GHA EFM

By GHA EFM
in St. Albans City Forum

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GHA EFM

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Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

 

Jerry: Hello everybody and welcome to our special presentation for tonight...Jerry Slinger's Kinky Sex Stories...

 

Crowd hollers.

 

Jerry: That's right, tonight we are going to find out all kinds of utterly, utterly, terrifying information about our guests.

 

The crowd screams.

 

Jerry: So now, let's introduce...Little Miss Urchin! Everybody please put your hands together!

 

Little Miss Urchin walks out onto the stage dressed up like a Cheerleader.

 

Little Miss Urchin: Hi Jerry!

 

Jerry: Hey there Little Miss Urchin, why don't you tell everyone here what you have to say...

 

Little Miss Urchin: Well Jerry...I kind of have a special fetish...

 

The crowd LOVES it.

 

Jerry: Oh I see...and you're here to tell YELLOW ARMY 2003 about it right? In the hope that your fantasies can be realised?

 

Little Miss Urchin: That's right Jerry.

 

Again the crowd screams.

 

Jerry: Okay, okay then, well why don't we bring YELLOW ARMY 2003 in then and see what they have to say.

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003 appears and walks across the stage, embracing Little Miss Urchin.

 

Jerry: Okay, now YELLOW ARMY 2003, you are probably wondering why you're here...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: Yes Jerry...

 

Jerry: Well Little Miss Urchin why don't you tell them why they're here...

 

Little Miss Urchin: Well sweety...I have brought you here to tell you that...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: You're gay?

 

Little Miss Urchin: No! No, that's not it...it's just that I have, well, a sort of fetish...a fetish for Feet...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: Omigod!

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003 puts their hand over their mouth. The crowd goes crazy.

 

Little Miss Urchin: I was wondering if...you could, well you know...help me with it. I dressed up in this uniform for you and everything...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: Well yeah...yeah I guess...

 

Little Miss Urchin: Really?

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: But on one condition...

 

Little Miss Urchin: Anything!

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: I want you to eat Chicken Noodles off my 6-Pack...

 

The crowd goes INSANE.

 

Jerry: Okay, okay, but now I have to interrupt. Because there's actually something else that somebody needs to tell you YELLOW ARMY 2003.

 

Crowd silences, from the shadows emerges Chubbhead, sitting down next to YELLOW ARMY 2003.

 

Chubbhead: Thanks Jerry...okay here's the thing...you know how important your friendship is to me YELLOW ARMY 2003...but, hell, I want MORE...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: What are you saying?

 

Chubbhead: I want to have passionate sex with you...

 

Little Miss Urchin stands up rapidly from their seat. The crowd squeals with delight.

 

Little Miss Urchin: Now wait just a minute!

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: I...I don't know what to say...I...

 

Little Miss Urchin: You say no! No is what you say!

 

Jerry: Okay, everyone please let's just calm down for a second, please, because it just turns out that I now have a suprise for all three of you...

 

Jerry points to the side entrance onto the stage and Sexy_Canvey_Chick appears with a big grin on their face. Little Miss Urchin leaps out of their chair and lunges towards them, swinging wild punches...

 

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

 

The security guard pulls them apart and sits them on opposite sides of YELLOW ARMY 2003. Little Miss Urchin wipes away the dribble of blood from their nose while Sexy_Canvey_Chick blinks a rapidly blackening eye.

 

Little Miss Urchin: You piece of ******, you've always been jealous of me and YELLOW ARMY 2003, why don't you just face the fact that we're together? Huh?

 

Sexy_Canvey_Chick: Oh yeah you have a great relationship don't you? When was the last time you had sex? Huh?

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: Only 2 hours ago actually.

 

The crowd explodes excitedly.

 

Sexy_Canvey_Chick's face contorts and they leap out of their chair towards Little Miss Urchin. Little Miss Urchin stands and scoops up their chair, swinging it at Sexy_Canvey_Chick in wild arcs. The security guards step in and drag them apart.

 

Jerry: Wait a second, wait a second, I've missed something here. Why are the two of you so angry at each other? Sexy_Canvey_Chick help me out here.

 

Sexy_Canvey_Chick: Well Jerry it's a long story...but basically I asked these two if they wanted to form a threesome with me...

 

Jerry: A threesome with who? YELLOW ARMY 2003 and Little Miss Urchin?

 

Sexy_Canvey_Chick: That's right Jerry, I think about them both all the time...

 

YELLOW ARMY 2003: Omigod! You're sick do you know that? I don't even want to see you again! I'm in love with Little Miss Urchin and that's how it's gonna' stay!

The crowd whoops and bellows in excitement. The camera moves out into the crowd and Jerry holds the microphone out to a young woman.

 

Young Woman: Yeah, I have a question for you down there...YELLOW ARMY 2003, I have to ask, are you crazy not to want to get down with Little Miss Urchin and Sexy_Canvey_Chick or what? I think you should consider yourself more lucky! Oh and Sexy_Canvey_Chick I've got something for you baby..!

 

The woman flashes her ample bosom for not only Sexy_Canvey_Chick but the whole world to see. The crowd explodes in excitement. Jerry steps away and looks sternly into the camera.

 

Jerry: Well as much as I wish that this could go on forever, i have to draw it to a close...and so i say this - what have morals stooped to in society today if we are even here talking about Feet's and people getting their 6-Pack's licked? People harbouring secret obsessions for best friends, others seeking comfort in the numbers of threesomes. Throughout this all we've forgotten that two of the people down there are quite possibly in love and these peoples friends should respect that rather than just seeking fulfillment of their own desires. Thankyou...and goodnight.

 

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

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