Bonechapel Brother

[GHA EFM]

[Geordie Voice]

 

Day 1, in the Bonechapel forum. Today, St. Albans City supporters, the majority of which are in the hooligan Firm EFM, have been set their weekly task. They must invade the Bonechapel forum, and not post in their own forums. Urchin Boy, Urchino, Uncle Urchin and others are on the sofa, playing a game of ‘name that Jim Davidson punchline.’

 

12.52am. Uncle Urchin has become aware of EFM’s forthcoming invasion after someone threw a tennis ball into the Bonechapel Forum Garden with a message on. Uncle decides to warn everyone not to be too harsh on the Bonechapellians, and to ‘take it easy’ as he will be out of the forum over the weekend. He decides not to let on that Bonechapel Brother has decided to lock Uncle in the Forum Garden for the weekend, as he feels it would ruin his status amongst his much younger peers. Urchino replies, saying that he will take control. EFM The Firm, The Voice seems to be watching, but not saying much…

 

8.00am. Little Miss Urchin and Yellow Army 2003 get chatting about nothing in particular, whilst Rob the Saint threatens to ban everyone. CANV continues his ‘Top 5’ fetish, telling anyone who’s willing to listen about his Top 5 forums, and the Top 5 New MADs. Strangely, the Storytime thread has gone missing. Rumours abound that Knocky has eaten it, but a lack of hard evidence means the case is thrown out.

 

9.00am. The invasion has properly begun. CANV and Colin Zeal EFM are the main two instigators of drivel, although many others such as pabird have their say. Zeal, CANV and Costello go off on one about how females should not be allowed in the cub scouts, and that they’ll be wanting the vote next. CANV asks if anyone can name the football ground he has drawn on the back of a postage stamp, whilst Costello’s ‘clock tower’ and ‘best St. Albans schools’ threads continue to cause debate.

 

10.00am. The ‘Favourite St. Albans Street?’ thread is still annoying many Bonechapellians due to the sheer quality of street names in St. Albans, when the best they can muster is ‘Upminster Road.’ EFM_Costello makes Bonechapellians realise just how much cash there is in St. Albans when he announces, to the effect, that his first car is going to cost him over £10,000. Urchin Boy continues to profess that he can ban anyone he wants due to his immense power, despite the fact that everyone knows he is talking cr#p.

 

11.00am. Urchin Boy announces that the Bonechapel ICF now numbers 753 people, another clear lie. An average attendance of 295 last year at Bonechapel proves this information to be false. The Bonechapel Brother House can only fit 300 people inside it anyway. Little Miss Urchin reveals her underlying love for Grand High Aviator by announcing that she (essentially) is missing him. This leads to a web of tangled mis-interpretation and mis-information, mainly due to YELLOW ARMY 2003 and Urchino.

 

12.00pm. Grand High Aviator returns from his money burning to announce that he’s thinking of getting an AC Cobra for his first car, in response to Costello’s ‘first car’ thread. A number of women in the forum dislike the choice, probably due to its colour.

 

1.00pm. The question of fox-hunting rears it’s head, and indicates an intellectual conversation may be possible in the Bonechapel Forum. However, the thread is hi-jacked by numerous Urchins, and the thread descends into nothing-ness.

 

2.00pm. Aldershot’s notorious Pinky manages to break into the Bonechapel Brother House Forum and claim that EFM are a bunch of 14-yr-olds that’ll never grow up. Unsurprisingly, Urchin Boy agrees. A private joke between Grand High Aviator and Colin Zeal leads to Urchin Boy then claiming more intelligence than he has ever been given credit for, but Colin Zeal’s ‘likeness for MAD-esque characters’ soon defuses the situation.

 

3.00pm. Urchin Boy is furious that he has been ‘banned’ from the SACFC Brother forum, even though it is a ghost forum today as no-one is around, and as a result no-one has banned him. He continues to claim that he can have whoever ‘banned’ him ‘banned’ themselves, which leads Colin Zeal to suspiciously ask a few too many questions about whether or not a moderator can un-ban themselves if they get banned. All the while, CANV sits in the corner grinning to himself, occasionally twitching, and staring at Urchin Boy. Zeal then declares himself homesick, and announces that he misses the SACFC board and can’t wait to get back there tomorrow.

 

4.00pm. It is confirmed by another tennis ball message that the SACFC – Millwall friendly has been cancelled due to Millwall ‘bottling it.’ Meanwhile, CANV finds a letter to David Beckham in response to Beckham’s ‘be excellent to yourselves, and each other’ message, which is ‘BRILLIANT’ in CANV’s words. It is then revealed by Colin Zeal EFM that the day so far has been Bonechapel’s most productive ever day ever in terms of posts, although in hindsight it is agreed that a significant majority of these posts have been by Urchin Boy saying ‘I’M BORED, I’M ASLEEP, WAKE ME WHEN IT GETS INTERESTING, GRAND HIGH AVIATOR ISN’T FUNNY etc.’ The last of these statements was disproved yesterday in Fleet boy’s poll in which it was found that the majority of people on the Bonechapel forums did find Zeal and GHA funny. But, as the saying goes, ‘never let the truth get in the way of anything in Bonechapel.’ Soon after, CANV bottles it, and decides that he can’t hack the Urchin Boy comebacks, and so leaves for the pub.

 

5.00pm. Colin Zeal EFM, CANV and more have left, leaving Grand High Aviator to continue with the invasion. He stays quiet, although Chubbhead makes an appearance on the closed forum for a while.

 

6.00pm. cynic decides to have a say, whilst Grand High Aviator is distracted by the fact that there is a Simpsons double bill on TV. Urchin Boy attempts a couple of ‘picture jokes,’ both of which fail pretty miserably.

 

7.00pm. URCHINETT decides to admit her undying love for Grand High Aviator as well. As has now become par for the course, the thread is hi-jacked by YELLOW ARMY 2003, and a couple of young Urchins. It is all irrelevant, however, as GHA has left the Bonechapel Brother House for the night. As he walked out the door, he was heard to be murmuring ‘I’m too cool for this place, I’m just too cool.’

 

8.00pm.Urchin Boy and urchin_man start flirting to relieve their boredom. It doesn’t work. Urchin Boy continues to profess that he is ‘caning’ everyone, although urchin_man hits home by telling him that Grand High Aviator is ‘caning’ Urchin Boy, and that Grand High Aviator has everyone on his [t’Aviator’s] side. The conversation then moves on to Chinese food, before Little Miss Urchin effectively tells them all to shut up.

 

9.00pm. CANV makes a return from his sojourn in the pub, as Bonechapel Brother security guards catch him and send him back to the house. This was a very long process due to CANV continually shouting at the security guards ‘get off you working class #######, don’t you know I’m minted?’ and attempting, several times, to run off. EFM The Firm, The Voice, reveals that he was moulded into the man he is today by the London Colney Youth Club, which reveals a lot…A small mutiny nearly breaks out between Urchin Boy and urchin_man about who’s idea it was to play EFM at a 5-a-side match. This almost degenerates into a full-scale riot, but due to the fact that EFM don’t really care, violence is avoided. Urchin Boy tries to prove how hard he is, telling everyone that’ll listen that he’d drinking, despite the fact that he’s 14. urchin_man then shows Urchin Boy up slightly, saying ‘Mark the time you came round my house for the party, and we kept on filling your glass up with non alcoholic beer, you started to pretend you were drunk.’ EFM The Firm, The Voice’s revelation that he has shagged Danni Minogue could have led to an interesting discussion, but once again, it gets hi-jacked.

 

10.00pm. Urchin Boy is still there. He tells everyone that he doesn’t need school, he doesn’t learn anything there anyway (which shows), and that he’s going to kill his dentist after the dentist pulled two of Urchin Boy’s teeth out. This threat, and the threat to ban everyone, are treated with the contempt they deserve. Bonechapel do not realise what they are letting themselves in for when they decide to challenge EFM to a football match in the Bonechapel Brother Garden. Nothing, as yet, has come of it.

 

11.00pm.Fairly quiet on the Western Front, with SACFC users safe in the knowledge that they have triumphed over evil. Agent Tom Quinn and Uncle Urchin begin to talk crap about nothing and anything in particular.

 

11.59pm.Agent Tom Quinn and Uncle Urchin continue to chat ######## about nothing and anything in particular.

 

12.00am.The day is complete. Urchin Boy has managed to spend an amazing 99% of his available time on the forum, whilst Uncle Urchin has kept an eye on proceedings from afar. The EFM boys can be proud. They’ve done a hard, solid, good day’s work, and have managed to successfully lower their intellectual level to that of Bonechapel in order to survive. They move back to the SACFC forum, still with loads of cash, cars, intelligence, and big private houses…they have successfully completed their mission.

 

[/Geordie Voice]

[Urchin Boy]

VERY GOOD

[Urchin Boy]

HA HA LOL

 

 

[YELLOW]

Very, very good GHA!!

[YELLOW]

Wait a minute GHA! You've got your facts a bit wrong.

 

You said me and LMU were chatting at 8am yesterday. I was still in bed then!!

[Urchino]

The best laugh i have had in ages <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Rob_the_Saint]

I stoutly deny I was threatening to ban everyone at 8:00 am <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

 

It was at least 8:30!! <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> BOOM BOOM!

 

Don't forget the cameo appearances from AFF and David Holden. <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[GHA EFM]

Oi YA2003. It was between the hours of 8.00am and 9.00am.

[GHA EFM]

Oi Rob. How could I forget AFF and Sir Holden?

 

Quite easily, obviously!!

 

I think Big J.R. Bowen has invaded our thoughts etc...

 

Nurse?

 

Lord help us...

[YELLOW]

Quote:

Oi YA2003. It was between the hours of 8.00am and 9.00am.

Exactly I was still in bed! I wasn't on here yesterday till about 9.45.

[GHA EFM]

If you say so.

 

And anyway, never let the truth...etc

[Uncle Urchin]

and don't forget Bunky..........

 

he ate all the bananas...!