Just Who is the Five Minute Hero?

[ESG]

 

Mr Warhol knew what he was saying when he made the statement that for at least 15 minutes we'd all be famous at some point in our meagre existence. Then again do remember his idea of art was soup cans and loud coloured portraits of Kennedy cast-offs. That 15 minutes has unfortunately turned into an eternity with some people and Joe Public has to put up with it. Those whiz-kids at many an advertising institution has cottoned on to this and in the last 20 years have developed the concept of selling us any old crap with a serial twist to it. The old Oxo family was very much the Nuclear Family with mum, dad and 2.4 kids. They were around for many a year and we endured school, puberty and dressing like mods from the offspring of this fictitious clan. No doubt the producers of the famous stock cube cleaned up as well. Now characters you can 'somewhat' identify with is one thing, but what about those characters some people wish to aspire to be?

 

Wake up and smell the coffee. Well, this old bean gave the viewing public one of the first serious contenders of five minute heroes. Yes, the glamorous woman and tall, dark, handsome caffeine addicts' came across as slick, perfect and confirmed that, without doubt, Britain was turning into a stupefied consumer bunch as a particular brand of coffee that had characters fit of inspiring aspiration actually drinking it saw jars fly off the shelf quicker than a kid who has just downed a family bag of Haribo. Forget the Milk Tray fella or those Russian aristoes in the Imperial Leather soap ads, now the ad agencies were bringing 'class' to the small screen. The public now lost sleep at nights and stumbled through the meaningless day in anticipation of what Mr and Mrs All-Made-Up would do next. Lay off half the workforce, recount the day they met or simply get a life, all was compulsive viewing.

 

We still haven't learned. One particular financial institution, Halifax, insists on inflicting upon us those from within its own workforce with 'talent' in an attempt to have us direct the old pretty greens, well blues at the very least nowadays, in their direction. Grass didn't grow under their feet, yep, they started using old classic tunes that had received the Gilbert and Sullivan treatment with the lyrics being altered to captivate a prospective audience. Such was the calibre of such icons that one of these new found stars was ushered into Liverpool to mesmerize the public. Even the local press sadly slumped and jubilantly notified the masses of the event. A further crime in this genre is the elephant.co.uk insurance ads (ED: then lose daytime tv then) which see the same annoying [****!!****] in every one. Big fish in a small pond, but there's no end of sad [****!!****] who idolize 'em and cause these five minuters to take themselves far too seriously. It's made-up- with-yourself smiles all around and no one to blame, but those who hang on their every line or action. Those little robots may have come across as stoned in the Smash ads, but you wouldn't have seen one of them in the supermarket acting like Elton John. As a matter of fact, you would not have seen one of them at all in the supermarket. By the way, to all the products that have been mentioned, we're working on that paypal account.

 

 

[MK James]

 

Halifax- get a little extra help - who's the guy with the glasses- singing adverts in a recording studio for radio- waiting for the great leap forward- you know you're safe with Windor- hmmmmmmm- campbell's meatballs- knew his product placement- what did the banana represent- we care because u do- characterization- ahhh- you can just smell that morning roast- buy now pay March- must fight Satan- subliminal messages sapping all self-control-anything to get ahead- survival of the fittest u know- the clown and the thief- so misunderstood-those colours grabbing the attention of the masses- without it you're nothing- feedback screaching like a child with scissors on brick-where do you want to go today- felicity and richard knew the score-80's/90's- the 3 little pigs showed us the value of conservatories- and yet I cannot ignore the calling- it's beckoning - i need it coz I'm weak-I must go and meet my destiny- the future's bright...