hornchurch expectations

[JAY]

especially essex girls lol

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

 

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

urchinman1961: So I've heard.

 

.........But my more subtle approach might appeal to those who don't want a bloke who just beats 'em up after 10 pints of Stella. (Irony of course)

 

But each to their own I suppose.

 

Keep it in the 'family' eh?

 

:-)

[urchinman1961]

guess u go home alone most nites then with the subtle approach

[Hornchurch "O"]

Tried and trusted methods work.

Try bringing a box of eggs and ask how she would like them in the morning?

[JAY]

haha

[Hornchurch "O"]

If they reply un-fertalised, waste an egg.

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

urchinman1961: I'm always home alone. I don't need a woman to tell me what to do - but I appreciate they have something (one thing?) to offer.

 

Aside from that..........?

 

But seriously of course, women could catch on as a concept.

 

There should be more of them who post on here for example.

 

I like women (they're far more 'interesting' than blokey blokes)

 

:-)

 

 

[urchinman1961]

there are more n more female urchins these days watchin i suppose it's just to see the chaps in there shorts but they like a larf on the terraces and in the bar b4 and after the game as well

[JAY]

lolol they certainly do dave

[and1inthetree]

"how would you like to see the soles of your feet in my wing mirrors" is a winner in my experience.

[urchinman1961]

ok in a smart car but in one of those yankee pick ups i'd be a bit concerned where she's bin

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

Originally Posted By: urchinman1961

there are more n more female urchins these days watchin i suppose it's just to see the chaps in there shorts but they like a larf on the terraces and in the bar b4 and after the game as well

Originally Posted By: JAY

lolol they certainly do dave

yes we do!

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

I'm not surprised - but you're 'one of the blokes' (presumably/obviously)

 

Incidentally, Hitchin has a transvestite who turns up at matches. Typically he's wearing a denim skirt and 'kinky' boots.

 

Perhaps he can give you some fashion tips?

 

:-)

[Darter]

Originally Posted By: urchinman1961

u need to cut the chase they dont want cheesy chat up lines they want action

This is true, Dave ... PoshHitchenBlade knows NOTHING .....

[Uncle Urchin]

Originally Posted By: PoshHitchinBlade101

urchinman1961: I'm always home alone. I don't need a woman to tell me what to do - but I appreciate they have something (one thing?) to offer.

Aside from that..........?

But seriously of course, women could catch on as a concept.

There should be more of them who post on here for example.

I like women (they're far more 'interesting' than blokey blokes)

:-)

suggest you try the shoutbox on the right then zorro....you'll enjoy it on there...

see you have been missing me....don't take it personally...just been busy...xx

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

Ah, there you are. What kept you?

 

But I appreciate that you have 'first refusal' on any desirable urchinette - so I suppose 'Princess' and 'Bitch' have been tried and tested by you then?

 

Gorra larf eh?

 

:-)

 

 

[Darter]

You'd better be careful what you say ... I'm sure you know that Urchinett is Mrs Uncle Urchin???

[PoshHitchinBlade101]

Can't say that I've noticed her on here - but I'm sure she gives UU a bit of message board 'slack' (as in 'Slack Alice'?)

 

Anyway, I had a hug from Jonathan Ross's mum when we won the pub quiz last night.

 

JR's mum moved to Hitchin a couple of years ago, and believe it or not it was me who signed her and her husband up to our pub quiz team.

 

I adopt the role of knowing nothing/non-playing in a Ryder Cup captain sort of way.

 

..............But in actual fact, I'd make a very good manager of a football team

 

Because I 'just know' (in a Jungian sort of way) who to sign up.

 

:-)

[Hornchurch "O"]

Woke up one morning after the Office Xmas party.

Couldn't remember a thing about the night before.

Saw a glass of water with 2 aspirins next to it.

No sign of bedraggled clothing accross the floor.

I saw a post it on the mirror with little hearts on it. The wife had written.

Good morning darling. I've phoned your office and told them you won't be in.

I've left your breakfast in the oven.

Snooker is on TV this afternoon. Put your feet up and have a nice day.

Goes down stairs, my son is at the breakfast table.

Newspaper is at my place and sure enough, piping hot breakfast in the oven.

I looked at my son and said "What happened last night?"

He said "Well you got home legless after 3 o'clock. You fell over the coffee table and broke it.

You puked up in the Hallway and broke the door handle to the bathroom.

Then you collapsed on the bed. Mum tried to take your trousers off at which point you shouted

"Get off you old slapper, i'm happily married"

 

Coffee Table